Of all the towns and cities I have visited in this green and pleasant land Newquay has to be the least green and least pleasant. The town which seems to come up most on this site seems to be Redhill, and I agree that it is a particularly ****** area I stayed there for a while (a bad idea I know) and was surprised to find that my car had not been stolen when I came to leave. However the other big surprise was how many filthy chavsters I heard screaming about how they love Newquay. Everywhere I have been I have overheard burrbury jesters squawking about what a “mad” place Newquay is.
Newquay can therefore be seen as a sort of Mecca for the **** population. Every weekend there is a massive influx of youths in novas and burrbury sales go through the roof the streets become littered with burger wrappers and L&B butts, vomit adorns every wall and urine can be found in every doorway.
One of the big draws of Newquay is the beach and the surf. Well it’s really not worth it over the weekend, as the beach becomes littered with needles, glow sticks, burger boxes, used condoms, reefer ends and other **** paraphernalia. If you must go to the beach I suggest after high tide has had a chance to wash the **** away.
How grim is your Postcode?
It is also interesting to note how careless ***** become in this town, Every time I have been to this hole of a town there have been mobile phones and jewellery littering the streets. Some examples of things I have found include Mobile phones, rings, bracelets, necklaces, ubrelas, push chairs (fortunately empty), hats, glasses, complete sets of clothes, shoes, caps, BB guns, car keys, herb, pills, powder, wallets, money, handbags, car ashtrays. The list is endless.
Newquay is the finest place in the world to exchange debilitating STDs, I suspect there are one or two new STDs completely unknown to medicine if you care to look for them.
I have yet to discover a car park in Newquay, which is not full of with smoke filled novas doing the occasional hand break turn. And the bushes around the car parks seem to be filled with people sharing STD’s with 13-year-old mothers.
Of course the worst time to visit is the end of May when the annual Run To The Sun event takes place, you can always tell which weekend its on because of the number of broken down Volkswagens along the motorways of England. While the main core of this attack on Newquay is surfer types (nice guys a bit dim at times…) it also attracts the ENTIRE **** population of the UK. If you want to see how bad a town can be chavised then RTTS is the time to see the results. However it is advisable to view this event from a distance.
So in conclusion Newquay is a town to avoid.