Newport – where theys speaks likes thiiisss


The peak cap slumming it vibe of this nethertown will drive even the most animated horn tooting bare-chested straw-chewing, techno-loving, you-knows-it, fiesta-driving, fat-chic-shafting braindead into buying loads of ecstasy, from the sppeeaksss likkee thisss dealers, in an alleyway.

Following this purchase from binky’s finest, the peak cap should be turned backwards for a leisurely hop over this chavtown’s most pleasant speedbumps, a la,Somerton,Hawthorne Avenue’s being the best, particularly if travelling at anything over 10 mile an hour, the full Starsky & Hutch is guaranteed, before looping pointlessly around Moorland/Broadmead Park, just to stare openmouthed at the parade of ASBO’S, gleefully waving their tagged limbs as they push shopping trolleys into the rean.

For the more adventurous, why not try the city’s renowned Clytha Square, it’s global melting pot.

Here the aspiring up and coming **** will find drug dealers, prostitutes, grumpy old people, alcoholic’s (Kevin, shut up), Sri Lankans, Slovenians and Africans.

How grim is your Postcode?

Psycho sharp knife waving moon dancing hair tied back drooling bunny searching chic’s,Sensible people,and you’ll be treated to a rare good Set by the ****,DJ extrodinaire,playing tasty tunes for a selected audience of Community Safety Wardens
and clapping yokel’s.

The gleeful pimpwalking contents of the **** house will unload all of its Sppeeeaaks LLikeeessss Thiius crew,whereupon the streets will echo to the noises of screaming bit dim teens and sirens.
There is a full bedroom suite dumped up the road,a fridge and telly over the fence in the nursery grounds,some carpet in the bin across the way,and a flatdoor to be booted in,all,the,
more,chinlesschav need’s,to move in.
For the Ultimate **** nightcap,the biggest Argos on the planet is in this fruit machine of a loser’s last pound coin.

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