NEWPORT

GwentWales

Can easily be discribed as the place that God missed when he created the world. The main city centre is a mess of clothes shops that seem to continually be closing and re-opening a few days later with another name. Thus providing the ***** with all the fake “gear” that they blow their giros on.
In between the numerous clothing shops are the many **** eating places, and the ***** dont need to even look for the McSlurry signs- they can mearly follow the trails of disgarded cartons back to source.
After a busy day the ***** then decend in the million to the pubs. The ***** with pretentions tend to hang out in a bar called NP20. The others in one of the numerous pubs that have the essential **** life support of pool table and Sky Sports playing the “footie”.
Later its outside for a ruck or to throw up much to the other ***** amusement. Then up to the clubs that thankfully are all in one area, that the non **** residents avoid like the plague, a place called Stow Hill. Although in recent years other pubs have started to cash in on the ***** and been granted later opening, and so you can find a few **** clubs in other parts of the town centre now.
A wander past many of the pubs on an evening will let you see the ***** engaging in the sport of Karioke. (Oh the Japanese have much to answer for.)

Finally I have to mention that Newport has the dubious honour of Goldie Looking Chain. Thus making it a mecca of sorts for the valley *****, who decend in hordes in a religious pilgrimage every alternate Friday when they have collected their fortnightly giro.

In truth a god forsaken town with no hope of ever being improved.


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