Written by Anonymous. Posted in United Kingdom

Having lived in quite a few different charver towns, i can honestly say that Benwell has to be where the cream of the crop are.
What you need to know first is that Benwell and Fenham are side by side, Benwell being the poorer cousin if you like, in Benwell houses have been sold for the vast sum of £1.00 to try and regenerate the area, all it led to was a influx of fly by night landlords that include the immortal words DHSS Welcome on their adverts. Benwell is inhabitated by the lesser spotted truely fearless charv, the one that due to Foetal Alcohol Syndrome or some birth related disease has no fear and no regard for human life. On the first day of my family moving to Newcastle my brothers nose was broken for the sin of “Looking at us like we’re a twat or somfing”.
Benwell: http://www.monkchester.co.uk/benwell_1.htm
Fenham is for the upper class charver, the new mills estate (where all the houses all look exactly the same and are identified by black painted numbers) is the hemmed in area of teenage and adult charvers that breed, drink, fight and spit like there is no tommorow. For the teenage charver the hangout would be the Mill Inn on West Road, Where the floorboards are sticky and the staffs fingers are stickier, as testified to by the beating i saw two men giving a woman outside, who had apparently been a Fooking Thieving Whoore, The Prince of Wales (RIP) which was burned down allegedly by gansters after their protection money
The Benwell is by comparison a quiet little bar, where you have to dip your hand in the cistern to pull the plug in the toilet and is shut by 6.00pm due to the fights that happen. http://www.monkchester.co.uk/benwell_3.htm
For the not even barely legal drinking teenager there is Georges, a small corner shop in the heart of Fenham which allegedly is the place to go for the sophisticated 20/20 drinker. This of course leads to most local people that have not got the charver pedigree of some being made to buy ‘tabs and booze, like’.
Between the escalating teenage pregnancy rate (I once heard two very young charvs arguing about the paternity of a pregnant 12 y/olds baby, the boy finally spitting out that he would go on Trisha to get the DNA done), perhaps the youngest grandmother in the world (25) and the tagged teenagers that maraude about i would like to put Benwell/Fenham forward for worst Chavtown in Newcastle.

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