I’ve lived in Nailsea most of my life and like everyone else below the age of 20, can’t wait to get the f**k out. In the last 5 years they’ve bit more old folks homes than actual houses so walking the streets makes you think you’ve wandered onto the set for the next season of The Walking Dead.

Shopping’s alright if you like Waitrose, Tesco and 870 different breeds of charity shop and hair salon. The scariest people you’ll have to deal with here are the c***s out on greenfield crescent, but if you stay away from there the worst you’ll encounter is some middle class kids vaping in the park.

Move to Nailsea if you want to raise your family in the dullest surroundings possible or die in a fairly quiet nursing home. Expect nothing and still be disappointed.