I’ve lived in Nailsea most of my life and like everyone else below the age of 20, can’t wait to get the **** out. In the last 5 years they’ve bit more old folks homes than actual houses so walking the streets makes you think you’ve wandered onto the set for the next season of The Walking Dead.

Shopping’s alright if you like Waitrose, Tesco and 870 different breeds of charity shop and hair salon. The scariest people you’ll have to deal with here are the ***** out on greenfield crescent, but if you stay away from there the worst you’ll encounter is some middle class kids vaping in the park.

Move to Nailsea if you want to raise your family in the dullest surroundings possible or die in a fairly quiet nursing home. Expect nothing and still be disappointed.

1. 
   

   Yeovil – Jewel of the **** Crown

2. 
   

   Frome: Trapped in Vegan Hell

3. 
   

   Wiveliscombe: sh*te rolled down hill and collected in one glorious cesspit

4. 
   
   
   
   
   
5. 
   

   Glastonbury: it’s hard to find anyone who isn’t blowing shamanic smoke up their own ****

6. 
   

   Yeovil, neatly situated in the **** end of nowhere

7. 
   

   Bridgwater: like an open cesspit, the thickest sh*ts tend to accumulate here

8. 
   
   
   
   
   
9. 
   

   Bristol: A battle between hipster and yokel

10. 
    

    Chard: The town where the garbage men make deliveries

11. 
    

    Nailsea: Where the old come to die