So you are thinking of moving to Swanley in Kent? You've found some estate agents and they have told you what you wanted to hear. You've read some speil by a local councillor who says that Swanley is on the up an up? Now it's time for a bit of reality. Cold hard statistics culled from the Police, the Indices of Deprivation and the latest census. Is Swanley the land of milk and honey or are Bexley, St Mary Cray and Dartford a lot better? Time to find out.
Crime in Swanley
Using the latest Police street crime figures for the month of November 2020 we have compiled a table of the most voilent Policing areas in and around Swanley. Naturally the more urban and more central areas will have a higher rate of crime, but often you can be surprised when that is not the case and that is the area you want to move to.
| Polcing Area | Voilent Crimes |
|---|---|
| Hextable | 48 |
| Bowmans | 45 |
| Kevingtown | 36 |
| South Darenth | 25 |
| Hockenden | 21 |
| Heath Side | 18 |
| Ruxley | 9 |
| Crockenhill | 9 |
| Farningham | 1 |
| Eynsford | 1 |
The English Indices of Deprivation also has crime statistics for Swanley. These statitics are published by the government every 2-3 years. They are a measure of how likely you are to be a victim of personal or material crime in an area, such as muggings or burglary. We've collated an average rank for all the Lower Super Output Areas (LSOA) in each ward in and around Swanley. The table below shows ten wards in this area, from the best to the worst.
| Ward | Average rank in England |
|---|---|
| Farningham, Horton Kirby and South Darenth (Best) | 10526/32845 |
| Wilmington, Sutton-at-Hone & Hawley | 11292/32845 |
| Hextable | 13345/32845 |
| Swanley Christchurch and Swanley Village | 16142/32845 |
| St Mary's & St James | 16199/32845 |
| Eynsford | 17924/32845 |
| Joyden's Wood | 18507/32845 |
| Swanley St Mary's | 2602/32845 |
| Swanley White Oak | 6215/32845 |
| Maypole & Leyton Cross (Worst) | 9623/32845 |
Tilbury, a God-forsaken town of disgruntled, rancorous d*ckheads
Your Health in Swanley
If you are thinking of moving to Swanley, you want to know if the place is likely to put you on a downward spiral of ill health. We've taken the healh question from the latest census to find out and how Swanley compares to its neighbouring local authorities. People were asked to rate their current health from very bad to very good;
| Local Authority | Very Bad | Bad | Fair | Good | Very Good |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Greenwich | 1.27% | 4.09% | 11.54% | 32.95% | 50.14% |
| Bexley | 1.09% | 3.74% | 12.51% | 34.68% | 47.98% |
| Sevenoaks (Swanley) | 0.87% | 3.11% | 11.47% | 33.37% | 51.17% |
| Dartford | 1.03% | 3.4% | 12.16% | 34.86% | 48.55% |
The English Indices of Deprivation also has health statistics for Swanley. They measures the risk of premature death and the impairment of quality of life through poor physical or mental health, lovely! We've collated an average rank for all the Lower Super Output Areas (LSOA) in each ward in and around Swanley. The table below shows ten wards in this area, from the best to the worst;
| Ward | Average rank in England |
|---|---|
| Swanley White Oak (Best) | 16759/32845 |
| Swanley St Mary's | 18468/32845 |
| Wilmington, Sutton-at-Hone & Hawley | 18504/32845 |
| Maypole & Leyton Cross | 19880/32845 |
| St Mary's & St James | 23898/32845 |
| Joyden's Wood | 26708/32845 |
| Swanley Christchurch and Swanley Village | 27350/32845 |
| Hextable | 27624/32845 |
| Farningham, Horton Kirby and South Darenth | 27748/32845 |
| Eynsford (Worst) | 31745/32845 |
Bexleyheath - a hive of villainy
Deprivation in Swanley
Using the English Indices of Deprivation statistics, we've collated the average Index of Multiple Deprivation rank of all the LSOAs in the wards in and around Swanley. In layman's terms, this is how rough the ward is based on mutiple measures of deprivation including; employment, income, health, crime, housing and outside space.
| Ward | Average rank in England |
|---|---|
| Swanley White Oak (Best) | 11862/32845 |
| Wilmington, Sutton-at-Hone & Hawley | 17097/32845 |
| Maypole & Leyton Cross | 18468/32845 |
| Farningham, Horton Kirby and South Darenth | 21054/32845 |
| St Mary's & St James | 21762/32845 |
| Swanley Christchurch and Swanley Village | 23467/32845 |
| Hextable | 23668/32845 |
| Eynsford | 26447/32845 |
| Joyden's Wood | 27328/32845 |
| Swanley St Mary's (Worst) | 9009/32845 |
Dartford: once a thriving market town, now in decline
Swanley is the Manchester United of **** towns
Dartford – I escaped
Sheerness: where hopes, dreams and junkies go to die
Margate – A true horror
Kent as a whole is ******* ****, Whitstable is merely ****
Sittingbourne: the only small town to have 3 branches of McDonalds
Aylesham is a village of Anti-Conservatives and racists
Chatham – Viva **** Vegas