So you are thinking of moving to Milton Keynes in Buckinghamshire? You've found some estate agents and they have told you what you wanted to hear. You've read some speil by a local councillor who says that Milton Keynes is on the up an up? Now it's time for a bit of reality. Cold hard statistics culled from the Police, the Indices of Deprivation and the latest census. Is Milton Keynes the land of milk and honey or are Bletchley, Newport Pagnell and Wolverton and Greenleys a lot better? Time to find out.
Crime in Milton Keynes
Using the latest Police street crime figures for the month of July 2020 we have compiled a table of the most voilent Policing areas in and around Milton Keynes. Naturally the more urban and more central areas will have a higher rate of crime, but often you can be surprised when that is not the case and that is the area you want to move to.
| Polcing Area | Voilent Crimes |
|---|---|
| Fishermead | 175 |
| Conniburrow | 158 |
| Milton Keynes | 158 |
| Eaglestone | 148 |
| Oakgrove | 140 |
| Springfield | 140 |
| Neath Hill | 119 |
| Oldbrook | 109 |
| Downhead Park | 106 |
| Heelands | 67 |
The English Indices of Deprivation also has crime statistics for Milton Keynes. These statitics are published by the government every 2-3 years. They are a measure of how likely you are to be a victim of personal or material crime in an area, such as muggings or burglary. We've collated an average rank for all the Lower Super Output Areas (LSOA) in each ward in and around Milton Keynes. The table below shows ten wards in this area, from the best to the worst.
| Ward | Average rank in England |
|---|---|
| Central Milton Keynes (Best) | 10683/32845 |
| Wolverton | 11824/32845 |
| Campbell Park & Old Woughton | 16076/32845 |
| Stantonbury | 17481/32845 |
| Bradwell | 19015/32845 |
| Broughton | 19987/32845 |
| Shenley Brook End | 20254/32845 |
| Bletchley West | 20509/32845 |
| Newport Pagnell South | 23380/32845 |
| Woughton & Fishermead (Worst) | 8017/32845 |
Blaenavon: It has a hole
Your Health in Milton Keynes
If you are thinking of moving to Milton Keynes, you want to know if the place is likely to put you on a downward spiral of ill health. We've taken the healh question from the latest census to find out and how Milton Keynes compares to its neighbouring local authorities. People were asked to rate their current health from very bad to very good;
| Local Authority | Very Bad | Bad | Fair | Good | Very Good |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Luton | 1.2% | 3.73% | 12.44% | 36.07% | 46.56% |
| Milton Keynes (Milton Keynes) | 0.94% | 3.2% | 10.82% | 34.88% | 50.17% |
| Bedford | 0.98% | 3.55% | 12.58% | 35.98% | 46.9% |
| South Northamptonshire | 0.77% | 2.64% | 11.01% | 34.87% | 50.72% |
The English Indices of Deprivation also has health statistics for Milton Keynes. They measures the risk of premature death and the impairment of quality of life through poor physical or mental health, lovely! We've collated an average rank for all the Lower Super Output Areas (LSOA) in each ward in and around Milton Keynes. The table below shows ten wards in this area, from the best to the worst;
| Ward | Average rank in England |
|---|---|
| Stantonbury (Best) | 15040/32845 |
| Central Milton Keynes | 15177/32845 |
| Bradwell | 15386/32845 |
| Campbell Park & Old Woughton | 16356/32845 |
| Bletchley West | 17966/32845 |
| Wolverton | 18261/32845 |
| Newport Pagnell South | 19942/32845 |
| Shenley Brook End | 21160/32845 |
| Broughton | 23464/32845 |
| Woughton & Fishermead (Worst) | 9561/32845 |
Newport, this is just a Hillbilly Love Town
Deprivation in Milton Keynes
Using the English Indices of Deprivation statistics, we've collated the average Index of Multiple Deprivation rank of all the LSOAs in the wards in and around Milton Keynes. In layman's terms, this is how rough the ward is based on mutiple measures of deprivation including; employment, income, health, crime, housing and outside space.
| Ward | Average rank in England |
|---|---|
| Central Milton Keynes (Best) | 12809/32845 |
| Wolverton | 16007/32845 |
| Stantonbury | 16151/32845 |
| Campbell Park & Old Woughton | 16232/32845 |
| Bradwell | 16746/32845 |
| Bletchley West | 18018/32845 |
| Shenley Brook End | 23007/32845 |
| Newport Pagnell South | 23416/32845 |
| Broughton | 24372/32845 |
| Woughton & Fishermead (Worst) | 7660/32845 |
Princes Risborough, if you find yourself there just keep driving
Totteridge: Where every Tesco comes with a bunch of ********!
Marlow, Full of smug yummy-mummies & the stockbrokers who keep them
Loudwater – “the edge of High Wycombe, not actually High Wycombe, OK???”
High Wycombe- a place once famed for its furniture making and heritage, now famed for being a s**thole
Aylesbury: find yourself in a traffic jam
Oh Milton Keynes, Milton Keynes… what have you done to yourself?
High Wycombe, hearing the words reminds of the smells of piss & ganja
Owlsmoor, Sandhurst: enter at your peril!