So you are thinking of moving to Ely in Cambridgeshire? You've found some estate agents and they have told you what you wanted to hear. You've read some speil by a local councillor who says that Ely is on the up an up? Now it's time for a bit of reality. Cold hard statistics culled from the Police, the Indices of Deprivation and the latest census. Is Ely the land of milk and honey or are Chatteris, Hanley Grange and Soham a lot better? Time to find out.
Crime in Ely
Using the latest Police street crime figures for the month of July 2020 we have compiled a table of the most voilent Policing areas in and around Ely. Naturally the more urban and more central areas will have a higher rate of crime, but often you can be surprised when that is not the case and that is the area you want to move to.
| Polcing Area | Voilent Crimes |
|---|---|
| Ely | 35 |
| Littleport | 33 |
| Sandhill | 31 |
| Chettisham | 11 |
| California | 2 |
| Black Bank | 2 |
| Little Downham | 2 |
| Broad Hill | 2 |
| Little Thetford | 2 |
| Barway | 1 |
The English Indices of Deprivation also has crime statistics for Ely. These statitics are published by the government every 2-3 years. They are a measure of how likely you are to be a victim of personal or material crime in an area, such as muggings or burglary. We've collated an average rank for all the Lower Super Output Areas (LSOA) in each ward in and around Ely. The table below shows ten wards in this area, from the best to the worst.
| Ward | Average rank in England |
|---|---|
| Littleport (Best) | 22743/32845 |
| Soham South | 23702/32845 |
| Ely East | 24403/32845 |
| Soham North | 24904/32845 |
| Ely North | 25085/32845 |
| Stretham | 25191/32845 |
| Ely West | 25783/32845 |
| Haddenham | 26294/32845 |
| Sutton | 27750/32845 |
| Fordham & Isleham (Worst) | 30201/32845 |
Stoke-on-trent, more like Sh*thole-on-trent
Your Health in Ely
If you are thinking of moving to Ely, you want to know if the place is likely to put you on a downward spiral of ill health. We've taken the healh question from the latest census to find out and how Ely compares to its neighbouring local authorities. People were asked to rate their current health from very bad to very good;
| Local Authority | Very Bad | Bad | Fair | Good | Very Good |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| King`s Lynn and West Norfolk | 1.31% | 4.8% | 15.9% | 37.08% | 40.91% |
| Fenland | 1.36% | 4.82% | 16.54% | 37.83% | 39.45% |
| East Cambridgeshire (Ely) | 0.85% | 3.12% | 12.09% | 35.18% | 48.77% |
The English Indices of Deprivation also has health statistics for Ely. They measures the risk of premature death and the impairment of quality of life through poor physical or mental health, lovely! We've collated an average rank for all the Lower Super Output Areas (LSOA) in each ward in and around Ely. The table below shows ten wards in this area, from the best to the worst;
| Ward | Average rank in England |
|---|---|
| Littleport (Best) | 21907/32845 |
| Soham South | 25170/32845 |
| Fordham & Isleham | 26040/32845 |
| Soham North | 26708/32845 |
| Haddenham | 28453/32845 |
| Ely West | 28480/32845 |
| Sutton | 28897/32845 |
| Ely East | 29088/32845 |
| Stretham | 29377/32845 |
| Ely North (Worst) | 29503/32845 |
Ely. Ship of the Fens? Sh*t of the Fens!
Deprivation in Ely
Using the English Indices of Deprivation statistics, we've collated the average Index of Multiple Deprivation rank of all the LSOAs in the wards in and around Ely. In layman's terms, this is how rough the ward is based on mutiple measures of deprivation including; employment, income, health, crime, housing and outside space.
| Ward | Average rank in England |
|---|---|
| Littleport (Best) | 16809/32845 |
| Soham South | 19946/32845 |
| Soham North | 21449/32845 |
| Fordham & Isleham | 23669/32845 |
| Ely East | 23673/32845 |
| Haddenham | 25063/32845 |
| Stretham | 25240/32845 |
| Ely West | 25260/32845 |
| Sutton | 25495/32845 |
| Ely North (Worst) | 25849/32845 |
Ely. Ship of the Fens? Sh*t of the Fens!
St Neots, Cambridgeshire, sounds a bit posh, in reality it’s far from it!
Histon, Cambridge: you will never meet a duller bunch of **** candles
Wisbech, knows as Wizzybekhistan by the locals
Ramsey, Huntingdon, Godless **** safari park
Huntingdon don’t bother
Peterborough – you shouldn’t be that close to your cousin
Whittlesey: Carnival of the Damned
Peterborough: oh for a nuclear bomb (or a really big bulldozer)