Middleton, Manchester

Welcome to Middleton, core of the **** universe within North Manchester. Here we have a special breed of **** and ********. This particular breed of gutter dwelling, fake burberry wearing council estate **** are ever so proud of their social status. Drawing in local ***** from surrounding Hollins, Boarshaw and not forgetting the lovely Langley this truly is the epicentre of hoop earings and henri lloyd attire. The difference with this place is the **** age range is from around 3 years old up to and including mid to late 50’s. Oh yes, the biggest ***** here are the 18-30 age range.

Identifying Features:

Male ****:
Wearing “Eclipse”, “Spliffy” or “Joe Boggs” clothing – they cant afford the Henri Lloyd and Ellese sported by the equally rancid **** inhabitants of Salford – who at least are successful in their criminal activities and spend their money coined from old grannys and schoolkids on the latest Stripey Paul and Shark jumper.
Trainers – Usually ridiculous £150 Nike air suspension super air pump max ****. Favoured by those who need to jump from second floor windows or scramble over fences im sure.
Gold Chains – Argos’s finest – the fatter the better –
Can usually be heard saying:
“What yoo fookin lookin at di*khead!?”

How grim is your Postcode?

Female ****:
Hoop earings – the larger the circumference the higher up in the female **** pecking order she is .
Low rider jeans, with dirty yellowing white g string.
Overly small t-shirt with rancid white pot belly spilling over afore mentioned jeans, replete with £2.99 belly button jewellery stolen from Miss Attitude.
Can usually be heard saying:
(to child) Tyrone/Latisha ya silly little basta*d, gimme me fookin giro back!

If ever there was an advertisement for the positive use of napalm wthin the community this place is it.

Top 50 worst places to live in England 2022 as voted for by you