Mere Green – The ***** of Suburbia

West Midlands

Mere Green has been mentioned as the place where under age Sutton Coldfield ***** (or as they are known in the West Midlands, Kevs and Shazzas) go to be get drunk, be sick and snog each other. I can, however, reveal that we have our very own thriving full time Kev community.

They spend their days moving from Sainsbury’s to Waitrose to Boots to Woolworths to Sainbury’s etc, trying to steal booze and razors. As only old people are out in Mere Green during the daytime, the Kevs are spotted a mile off and are chased off by store detectives and store managers. One Kev has reached celebrity status in the area, so persistent and futile are his attempts at crime. I won’t reveal his name but he is 26, looks about 14 is ginger and wears a particularly unattractive camel coloured shellsuit.

Kevs with jobs return to Mere Green late in the afternoon and take up residence around a pool table in Flint’s or The Fox and Dog’s. When other people go into Flints with attractive girls, the Kevs just stare in what I can only assume is a mixture of wonder, confusion, jealousy and lust. Another of their favourite pubs, The Four Oaks, was closed down after everybody else in Mere Green stopped going there. It has now reopened, without a pool table, and is Kev free. Get in!

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