Where to begin. Matlock may well be in the doomsday book and it seems that word, doom, features in many of the people’s lives here. With a vast selection of 13+ charity shops that would charge the same amount for the rags they sell as Armani would for a full suit, many residents seem satisfied to wear 1980’s shell suits.
A lot of the jobs in Matlock and the immediate surrounding areas are seasonal due to the tourists, which is ironic as all locals vehemently hate the summer onslaught of the masses that keep them employed. As a result, everything in this area is at least trebled in price, thus ensuring that the next generation can barely afford a greggs, let alone an escape from such a ridiculous place.
Many residents feel trapped, with only a lucky few being able to break free and escape. To further demonstrate how wonderful it is here, many of Nottinghamshire’s finest descend upon us and view us as the ‘local blackpool’, complete with arcades, cafes, chippys, and bikers coming out of your ears – thanks for that Matlock bath. A fine town for a visit I’m sure but beware, stay too long and it’ll never let you leave and then one day you’ll find yourself saying ‘£3.25 for an ice cream isnt bad!’ It’s too late for me I fear, but save yourselves!!
Bakewell: the traffic Tokyo of England
Ripley, a collection of nail bars and kebab shops
Pinxton is one of those places where time seems to have stood still
Belper, known as “Brown Town” for its off-the-scale drug problem
Breaston: stuck in the year 1500, village of *******
Racist, Sexist, Homophobic, Ilkeston
The tragically run down town of Alfreton
Birch Vale, a quiet rural village nestled in the heart of the peak district?
Buxton teenage turf wars!