Margate has its charms (beautiful weather and a nice beach), but it’s also C**v Central. Margate c**v haunts include McDonald’s, KFC and Yates’ Wine Lodge, which is the preferred watering hole to get pissed in before moving on to one of the local clubs. During the summer (especially bank holidays), local c***s mingle with their south east London counterparts on the sea front, especially in the amusement arcades (walk past these and experience the unnerving sight of 1001 stuffed Garfields leering out at you from glass cabinets – as if being stared at by c***s weren’t enough). Local c***s dress in usual c**v fashion, with logo-heavy clothes from the catalogue (pronounced “ca – a – log”), supplemented by el cheapo gear from Primark on Margate high street. Actually, I’m not knocking Primark – you get some real bargains there occasionally… But I digress. Oh, and don’t forget the hoop earrings. There must be an unofficial competition going on amongst Margate’s female c**v population, to see who can fit the most number of gold hoop earrings in each ear.