The Bridge – a strip of road that was previously used by ***** to drive and race their chaved up ***** jippo-mobiles but has since been disused because local residents have complained…I mean, the cheek of it!!!! Also, the Chequers Centre – the jippo-heaven of a shopping centre that seems to breed new-born children, mothered by, well, new-born children: 12-16yr olds!!!! The mothers, that is! ******, jippos and more **** ****. Disgusting.

Maidstone has long been the home of “Chavisim” with its sprawling council estates Parkwood, Tovil, Shepway and Mangravit to name but a few churning out generation after generation of ***** and Chavetts

A stroll down the high street of Maidstone town center will quickly bring the inherent and ingrained level at which ***** have gripped this once “Dickenesque” town. The premium placed upon all things Burberry is apparent from baseball caps and scarfs to phone cases and car seat covers.

The plethora of young teen mothers push their prams down the High Street, they with the now signature very large gold earrings, gold clown pendant and “Sovs”. The children with snot encrusted on their faces holding a Kit Kat in one hand and a bottle full of coke in the other are oblivious to their place in society. Most will need the help of a podiatrist (although won’t get it) due to having their feet shoved in to ill-fitting Reebok trainers and a large number will be diagnosed with rickets by the age of 5 due to a limited diet of coke, Kit Kats, MacDonald’s.

The ***** roam the streets of Maidstone in abundance, they too sporting Reebok Classics, Burberry hat and a football shirt (usually Manchester United even though they have never even been to Manchester). Most frequent the “Chequers Center” for us old timers it will always be the Stoneborough Center, were they will smoke, spit on passers by from over head and eat MacDonald’s…with the occasional respite to try and nick something from BHS.