Maidenhead is really the poor relative of Slough

Living in Maidenhead, Berkshire

You would think with the Council Tax we pay to protect the Queen up the road at Windsor we would be posh and **** free. Oh, heaven forbid no. I unfortunately got thrown by circumstance to a six month sentence on the downside of Maidenhead. The wrong side of the tracks literally.

Maidenhead has some fine area’s of <strike>pikeydom</strike> lovely traveller-dom which are estates that the German Luftwaffe (for any ***** reading that is the German Airforce in the war, ok) missed. Ironically with the names of The Bomber Estate, Lancaster and Halifax Road and the less celebrated area i die in called The Larchfield Estate. Life is a prison term here.

Pass times include riding motorised lawnmowers down the hideous walkway called the gullet where i often get abused by kids. St George’s flags are **** from windows despite the World Cup being finished ages ago and general<strike>pikeydom</strike> lovely traveller-dom entertainment is the domestics you hear on the estate “Chell, let i in, Chell” when the donor has had a few too many sherberts.

How grim is your Postcode?

In town is more fun with the centrepoint being Muck Donalds and the shopping mall. The prospects of getting abuse are high but fortunately we have a local Police force none to keen on ***** and most times you see them is with the Police in pursuit. As for pubs forget it. It’s all theme fun pubs/clubs that have competitions like Dance Like a ***** for Beer (true).

Maidenhead is really the poor relative of Slough where locals have nothing on the gun culture of our brothers up the road. I don’t think they bother with ***** in Slough and go straight into gangland feuds and people from Maidenhead never venture there.

I’m soon to be leaving Maidenhead, thank ****.