You would think with the Council Tax we pay to protect the Queen up the road at Windsor we would be posh and c**v free. Oh, heaven forbid no. I unfortunately got thrown by circumstance to a six month sentence on the downside of Maidenhead. The wrong side of the tracks literally.
Maidenhead has some fine area’s of <strike>pikeydom</strike> lovely traveller-dom which are estates that the German Luftwaffe (for any c***s reading that is the German Airforce in the war, ok) missed. Ironically with the names of The Bomber Estate, Lancaster and Halifax Road and the less celebrated area i die in called The Larchfield Estate. Life is a prison term here.
Pass times include riding motorised lawnmowers down the hideous walkway called the gullet where i often get abused by kids. St George’s flags are hung from windows despite the World Cup being finished ages ago and general<strike>pikeydom</strike> lovely traveller-dom entertainment is the domestics you hear on the estate “Chell, let i in, Chell” when the donor has had a few too many sherberts.
In town is more fun with the centrepoint being Muck Donalds and the shopping mall. The prospects of getting abuse are high but fortunately we have a local Police force none to keen on c***s and most times you see them is with the Police in pursuit. As for pubs forget it. It’s all theme fun pubs/clubs that have competitions like Dance Like a Queer for Beer (true).
Maidenhead is really the poor relative of Slough where locals have nothing on the gun culture of our brothers up the road. I don’t think they bother with C***s in Slough and go straight into gangland feuds and people from Maidenhead never venture there.
I’m soon to be leaving Maidenhead, thank f**k.