Maghull, a skid mark on the underpants of society

Living in Maghull, Merseyside
Living in Maghull, Merseyside

Maghull, a skid mark on the underpants of society, a part of liverpool which really should not be part of merseyside, or mainstream society for that matter. Maghull which originally was a farming hamlet has in the last century became a place for people who think that they have made it big time. Families mainly from Kirby, Aintree and Bootle flock to Maghull because it is “an apparently nicer and posher place to live”. Well lets face a few home truths about Maghull. The council tax is exactly the same as council tax in Kirby, Bootle and Aintree so the council of Liverpool or Sefton do not recognise Maghull as a special area so its just like any other rough part of liverpool. The fact that it is on the other side of switch island and in a leafy sub-urban part of merseyside is to blame for the creation of this “myth”. So, why is Maghull such a poor place to live and why should it be placed on this website. I will explain.

Maghull is a breeding ground for a new revolutionary type of Liverpool **** called “The Wannabe Bad Boy” bascially a fella who has been brought up in Maghull who grows up to believe himself to be a hardened scally who is hard and who thinks he is a gangster. The evidence for this accusation is rife. If you go to the Meadows pub on a Sunday night or the Coach and Horses you will see lads who walk around pretending to act hard and who make out that they recieve their money from illegal means. The reality is that these boys live with mummy and daddy and who probably work for mummy and daddy’s company with no names mentioned! The “wannabe bad boy” will also drive around in mummy and daddys car in the evening pretending that the car is theirs and that they conduct their “buisiness” in it. The common car that a maghull lad now drives at the moment is either a Vauxhall Vectra, a second hand lexus, or a volkswagen GTI which again WONT be theirs. However they succeed in pulling the easy girls from the pubs in maghull because girls in maghull are mostly orange faced money obsessed ***** who want to latch on to a drug dealer or doorman as soon as possible but this type of woman originates from all places in liverpool so there is no change there but more on Maghull Women later. Maghull lads, most of them are not hard. They do not deal drugs and they do not possess any type of aggressiveness or obnoxiousness about them. They are not to be feared. If you wish to see a proper hard knock scally lad who is to be kept at a distance then please feel free to visit Toxteth, Dovecot or Ackers Hall or any other romantic hotspots in liverpool. Lads from Maghull tend not to enter mainstream society, they cocoon themselves in their pubs such as the red house (which is a shed which does actually have fungus growing in it) the coach and horses, the weld blundell, the hare and hounds and most importantly the Meadows which unfortuantly missed a stray bomb in the second world war when a bomb from a dive bomber landed in what is at present the rear car park. Evidence that the Germans even know how bad the place actually is. After a the meadows has called last orders on a sunday night there is a ritual gathering outside the pub because no one knows how to get a cab home. Also girls and boys who have been drinking there on a sunday night make the arrangements on who they are going home with? Has anyone seen the American Sitcom M*A*S*H? Well my point is in this series the doctors have had all the nurses on the unit and all move from one nurse to the next swapping nurses night after night with eachother. This is exactly what happens in the Meadows, only that the lads are the doctors and the girls are the nurses. Maghull lads also tend not to go to liverpool city centre at night because they feel insecure in town, why? Because they cant pretend that they are hard or violent in town because everyone in liverpool knows that Maghull is not a violent place such as toxteth or anfield. In summary of Maghull boys, if you take away the lacoste tracksuits and mummy and daddys car and money, you would be left with a lad who would be best suited to live in poshest and wealthiest parts of the Wirral or Cheshire because these lads are too soft for their own good and would surely not survivie in a city setting away from their parent’s protection. If they were placed in a container they would drown in their own bullshit spewing from their overly pronounced scouse accent speaking mouths.

Moving swfitly on to girls from Maghull. Now girls from Maghull are just like girls from any other part of Liverpool. Most of them being orange, dangerously thin, money obsessed, self thinking peices of work. However the difference is Maghull girls are easly impressed and easily led on. Many a time have i been to the meadows and the coach and horses and have pulled girls just because i bought them ONE yes ONE drink and my car was parked outside. Thats how easy it really is and if you dont believe me try it for yourself. Girls from Maghull also believe that they too are from “da hood” that they also are hard, but the reality is they are only as hard as their current dealer or doorman boyfriend is at the time. I have spoken to many doormen and cabbies and have been told the same thing time after time after time. That the pubs in Maghull are stomping grouds for dealers and doormen from other areas in Liverpool due to the fact that it is so easy to get a shag from a girl from maghull. The more hard you are, the better car you have and the more money you have the easier it is to get a girl from their, and if you are actually a doorman or a drug dealer then you might as well never get married because you will have an ever flowing supply of Maghull *****. I know this because i have an ugly friend, and i mean an ugly ugly friend, he even knows himself to be very unattractive, but he drives a Range Rover HSE which even though it isnt his he once pretended that it was one sunday night and parked it right outside the meadows. We were immediatly confronted by a whord of girls smoking outside the front entrance to the meadows wereby my friend blagged that he was head doorman for the edwards bar in town. He got laid that night in the girls house as her parents were away in the lake district at the time. Need i say any more? Girls from maghull also overly dress for the pub. I mean, what girl or person would go to the pub dressed in the most revealing desinger clobber? Girls in the meadows wear practically nothing all year round and its just a pub, not a club or a bar, just an old mans pub which has a DJ in it on sunday nights. Its like going to the grafton but only that the girls age range is between 12-17, most girls from maghull over this age are usually kept behind lock and key by their dealer or doormen boyfriends. Also girls over this age from maghull have probably shagged about half the male population in the area and so therefore can no longer show their faces in such places. A final reason is that some lucky girls move to liverpool and have escaped the wrath of the cocooned maghull area and realised what fools they were to think that life in Maghull was reality.

How grim is your Postcode?

Finally we move the fact that Maghull thinks itself to be more than it actually is. There are signs round maghull pointing to “Maghull Town Centre” MAGHULL DOESNT HAVE A TOWN CENTRE! Their apparent town centre has about 10 shops in it and a police station. That sounds more like a village to me. The only reason there is a police station in Maghull is so that Merseyside Police can keep monitoring 3 drug barons that live in Maghull, i know this because i have a few friends who are in the force.

In summary Maghull itself is not a rough place to live however it does harbour this new type of scally **** both girls and boys. If it wasnt for Maghull then clubs such as the living rooms, garlands, the newz bar and all other hives for “wanna be bad boys” would be out of buisiness.
There are some decent living folk who live there but this decent folk is comprised of mainly pensioners and white collar workers. Other people who live their simply have moved there from other parts of liverpool thinking that they are the dogs who have succeeded in life. Simply not true, i could live in Maghull right now and i am in my early 20’s. Doesnt say much does it? Anyone who is coming to liverpool for capital culture, if you cant pull in liverpool city centre or anywere else for that matter, go to Maghull. And if you fancy a laugh at the Maghull “scallies” then go for it, you wont be disapointed.

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