North West

Lytham – still a last bastion of civilisation, JUST!!

One reason that, historically, the east end of towns and cities are usually the ****** end is down to prevailing winds – the west to east wind blowed the factory smoke to the east, hence only ******** live there. It’s hard to see how this would have applied to Lytham, except maybe the smell of rotting fish and cockles drifted east. Anyhow, as noted in other reports, the east end Dock Road area is traditionally ****-city and in particular the hidden council estate off Saltcoates Road. Most people in lytham don’t even know that this den of iniquity exists, but believe me – it does – ******* city personified! However the estate is well hidden with only one way in and out, and no concievable reason to go there. The area is well served by the local shops which furnish the ***** with ****, booze, videos and lottery tickets (the Government’s “tax on the stupid”) etc. The nearest **** pub is the Hansom Cab which despite numerous refurbishments can’t shake off it’s low-life image.

Fortunately the rest of Lytham is relatively ****-free. Most forms of **** discrimination are technically illegal but house price inflation has been effective at removing and excluding ***** from other areas of Lytham.You have to go towards Blackpool (to St.Annes in fact) to begin to see increasing density of **** population. St.Annes is known as bed-sit dole land, and although a lot of my council tax has been spent tarting up St.Annes Square, the plethora of shut-down and charity shops betrays increasing ****-iness. Having said that, you could do a lot worse. Lytham St.Annes remains overall a last bastion of decency – after all we’ve got Blackpool up the road. Go to the Wyndike Farm bootfair in Blackpool at the end of the M55 on a Sunday to see ***** Paradise! If you can’t make it there, just pop in to the near by Matalan shop anytime – they’re all there, complete with cheap tracksuits to cover their lardy bodies and walking stick to convince the Social that they have a legitimate sick claim. Yes, Lytham is okay by comparison.

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