Lytham St. Annes

Lytham St. Annes – millionaires’ paradise? Not when the **** **** are about…

Having to teach **** filth is difficult. Teaching them English would be difficult enough. Try teaching them a foreign language! ***** cannot conceive of a world beyond their estate of burnt-out cars and Bacardi breezers so try broadening their mind with the delights of the past tense. E.g. ‘I bought a Carbrini hoodie, you bought a Carbrini hoodie, he.she bought a Carbrini hoodie.’

Lytham St. Annes is seen as the millionaires’ playground of the Fylde coast, Lancashire. Remember, however, it is only a pebble’s throw from the *****’ favourite holiday destination, Blackpool.

Lytham St. Annes is actually several places in one. Lytham is relatively leafy and suburban and usually ****-free. Unfortunately, St. Annes, where I live, is **** central and hordes of baseball-capped, hoodie-topped filth parade the streets comparing ASBOs.

How grim is your Postcode?

The local council is doing its best to rid the town centre of the **** by digging it up. This only spreads them around as the gangs of 14 year-olds get sloshed and hassle the locals by swearing at them and doing their best to go on shoplifting sprees in Sainsbury’s.

The class war is definitely alive and kicking between those who have some and those who couldn’t spell it.