Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in Bedfordshire, East Anglia, United Kingdom

Well, well, well, 16 years now its been not much longer before i, along with many others can escape the scum infested town of Luton, Bedfordshire. I personally do not conform to any ‘group’ of people and have had no trouble from anyone, with the exception of ‘Chavs’. I find it absolutely fascinating that Chavs are in utter denial about the fact they are an actual chav. Evidently you cannot recognise this sympton on yourself. However, i can safely say that if you are participating on this website and are finding the use of the English language legible, then you are definately not a chav. Luton seems to attract every kind unfortunate that has ever been known to man kind. Thank the lord my parents had the forethought to pull me out of their dispicable excuse for comprehensive education before i reached high school. Ironically i do feel for the Luton Council. I mean to be honest which of you could honestly say that you could take charge of Luton, the scum of the earth town. Chavs are wild and unpredictable and so i feel these members of the council are living life on the edge, not knowing whether tomorrow could be the day they get mugged for every posession they are worth and beaten to a pulp by some burberry infected excuse for a human being. The real problem lies in the lack of education, they have no morals and it is dog eat dog out their on the roads of Luton. Contrary to what i have said there are a very few selected areas of Luton which are respectable, it is just incredibly unfortunate that each of these is usually surrounded by 4, ever growing, infested council estates containing the members of society that you only read about in books. The shadow of the hugely tall, council estate, crumbling block of flats that are usually in groups of 6, will always be a weight on the respectable members of luton.

Things to do if you dont know you are in a council estate:
1. Look around and UPWARDS to see if u can see several towers of flats
2. Scan the scenery in search for pregnant 14 year olds
3. Smell for the stentch of unwashed clothes and bodies
4. Keep your eyes peeled for a mass of burberry
5. Ask a passer by (at your own risk) whether there is an ASDA or ICELAND near by
6. Listen out for the roar of old bangers with holes punctured into their exhaust pipes and the never ending supply of swear words that are screeched across the entire estate

How to protect yourself from a Chav Attack:
1. Dress in an entire outfit covered in mathmatical sums – this is designed to scare off chavs with the first sighting
2. If you are approached by a Chav use a wide range of words longer than 7 letters
3. Cover youself from head to toe in burberry and then walk with a limp in your left leg whilst holding your crotch. Place your other hand on your top lip in a CURVED shape. Look down and walk, if you happen to see a passer by, remove the hand from your lip and make a ‘gun finger’ sign whilst hollaring ‘blup blup blup’.
4. Do not drive around in a car newer than 18 years old.
5. If you are unfortunate enough to be driving an unsuitable car, be sure to have the window down, one hand on the steering wheel, the other hand in the ‘curved’ top lip position whilst hanging out the drivers window attempting to look at the road from outside the car than meerly looking through the windscreen.
6. Be sure to be wearing Rebok classics and adidas joggers – if burberry isnt available of course.

Now, this is a very typical Luton sighting but i know this happens elsewhere, please comment with your thoughts as i am very open minded on this issue, i would like to know where else has been infested with this breed of people.

Thank You and Goodnight x