Ok so i’ve already done one of these for the lovely place that is Luton, but i dont think that i did it enough justice. I didnt mention the delights of Marsh Farm or the c**v breeding grounds that are ‘Tin Town’ and ASDA. Marsh Farm is a genuinely scary place if u dont come from there. Be warned – never walk past the high rise flats alone at night if u want to keep ure belongins with you. Also u might find ureself being pissed on by a couple of ‘jokas’ tryin to outpiss each other from the roof of the flats. Or perhaps a bit of scaffolding (aka. Dad’s weapon of mass destruction) might come flyin at you after it has been thrown out of a window.
Tin Town is the area of Luton that is houses that are half made from tin, they were built after the war for London overspills to live in. They were meant to be temporary. 60 years later they’re still there. However, just recently the council have ‘revamped’ the houses and they are no longer made of tin and they actually look quite nice. All the same they are lived in by c***s in their hundreds. Walk by tin town and you’re bound to see a couple of ten yr olds settin fire to bins, kicking in the phone boxes and graffitiing on the bus stops.
Another place is the Wigmore area which consists of an ASDA which is the hang out for the young c***s. The c**v lads old enough to drive – or at least supposed to look old enough – like to hang around in the car park in their novas comparing blue underlights and spoilers and big sound systems banging out some ‘chooons!!’.
A friend of mine used to work in ASDA and on many occassions she saw young chavettes nicking pregnancy tests , popping into the store toilets then coming out about ten minutes later looking a) very relieved or b) saying ‘im goin to the Lodge* tomorrow’. (*Lodge- place to get sorted for pregnancy, STIs, STDs etc.) Many of them in fact obviously dont go to the Lodge and that is why Luton has one of the highest teenage pregnancy rates in the country.
I agree with the bloke who said it is tradition to mutter ‘s******e’ when u go through Luton on the train. The station does indeed look like a s******e – which reflects the image of the town itself. Doesnt help that the stations either end of Luton are the rich bitches of Harlington and the stuck-up-their-arses St Albans. Oh look..theres my Luton attitude shining through – it cant be helped once youve lived here for a while. The power of the c**v is mighty!