Q. What’s worse than a **** town? A. A town where ***** come on holiday. Ok, I admit there are resident ***** in Leyburn. Spend a Friday night in the back room of the Bolton Arms or in the King’s Head and you will find them. They are few. They are weak. But they are there. Skulking. Dealing. Scratching.

But its during the summer months that the **** population swells to bursting. They come from Teesside. They come from County Durham. They come with their tracksuits and their fat ******* kids. They come with their Vauxhall Astras for a day trip. They come with their mate’s caravan for a week.

Let’s stop this annual invasion. Let’s make The Yorkshire Dales a giant gated community. You bring the concrete. I’ll bring the steel. Together we will can make this happen.

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