Levenshulme: The Great Scally-Hipster War

Living in Levenshulme, Greater Manchester

I’ve lived in this little sh*thole of despair all my life. Traditionally a haven for the standard Manchester scally; Adidas tracksuit, crappy old banger, let’s not dwell on it. Lately the dreaded hipsters have moved from their habitat in the Northern Quarter to the working-class areas of Manchester.

The f*ckwits [“lovely journalists” – Ed] over at the Manchester Evening News wrote an article on how Levenshulme is ‘trendy’ and ‘hip’, leading hipsters here in their hundreds.

The Levenshulme market is one of the top sights of Levenshulme. With a strong whiff of Eau de Weed at night, this little square is full of lovely entitled hipsters who want to buy their weekly fix of Authentic Timbuktu Coffee Beans (made in China).

How grim is your Postcode?

The local scallies usually hang around here, pissing off the hipsters and the stall-holders. There is nothing of worth to buy here, if you’re a sensible well-rounded individual.

Get out while you still can.