If you’d like to be chased by plastic irish tinkers, nearly run over by a stolen moped, mobbed by 12 year olds who want fags, walk round the corner and get mobbed again but by the 15 year olds who want alcohol, blink a few times and if your lucky your phone and car keys are still in your pocket….Then go to langley.The home of Failed Chav Scum.
So you’ve just entered langley and already you’ve been,chased, runover, mobbed, mobbed again, been jacked of all your belongings, and quite possibly picked up some rare disease. I call it home.
Langley is a small town situated between Slough and Colnbrook. Being near to slough is hard enough as it is without being next to colnbrook aswel.It takes the piss a bit really.
Walking the streets are the stoned youth of today, zombified by the potent skunk of the langley dealers who have no scruples about dealing to kids as young as 12. Adidas, Nike, Accademics, Echo. Girls with gold coated fingers and makeup plastered faces. It makes me feel ill sometimes.
Its not their fault though, no seriously they can’t help it. Your main options while growing up are whether to go the Langley Grammer or Langleywood (the comprehensive), and no matter where you go, you have no choice but to be brought up surrounded by chav’s galore. The only chance you have is if somehow you realise that its alright to be different about what you wear. But even then you must deal with the abuse and torment of the brainwashed chav’s who surround you.
So, the young kids are all copying each other, but that begs the question of who their following.Who do they want to be when their older?? Well if they end up like their parents then most of them will be doin meanial jobs here and their, before they realise that it’ll be much easier to claim benifits. There’s a large group of mums and dads who sit down the pubs, where it is quite alright to have a pint and smoke a joint, kids running round screaming and shouting. The regulars you see there most days are sat in a hase of smoke, discussing the football. Its not to bad for the girls, but unknown men should be warned not to win on the pool table, and not to raise their voice to loud. Because there will always be some big fisted man, sparkling with gold around his wrist and neck who wont have any problem in teaching you the manners he thinks you should have.
Langley, Dear Old Langley, the home of the failed chav’s.The chav,s in their fake burberry, the one’s who didn’t quite make the cut, and who were definatly last in the queue when the brains where handed out. I’ve realised the only reason noone on this site has mentioned the place already is because the large majority of langley’s population is so stupid that i find it hard to believe if they can actually read and write.Oh well.
But what can i say, its a nice place to drive through occasionly,just make sure you don’t stop. Just trust me when i say its much easier not to.