Lancaster, Lancashire

Lancaster – Once a thriving city, famous for its cotton mills as well as the wealth created by it’s Georgian status as third busiest port in England after London and Bristol. The remnance of its prosperious past can still be seen in the elegance of the buildings which are present around the central regions of the city.

Lancaster today, however, presents a different picture, as the descendents of the working class now demean its reputation and truly give it the status of a ‘Chavtown’.

From the unknown territory that is the surrounding council estates, they descend on to the city streets, night and day, to annoy and pester the good and hardworking citizens. They bear the crests of such quality brands like kappa, diadora, and for the eccentric type, discounted Lacoste, a display of their allegance to the citys underclass.

How grim is your Postcode?

Lancaster boasts not 1, but 2 allsports outlets, an impressive figure, considering the city’s size. Obviously a good haven for townies, having to visit each store at least once a day, perhaps they do not realise that they sell exactly the same stock.

The city’s focal point is the square outside the old town hall, and on an average day has an array of smackheads, krusties (tramps), and of course the townies, who manage to spend the entire day sat by the fountain. Another congregation point seems to be outside the local McDonald’s restaurant and can often be seen kicking a football around on a crowded saturday afternoon.

Just across the river from the city centre, is the Ryelands Estate, which recently gained notoriety for its apperance on the first ever episode of ITV’s ‘Neighbours from Hell’ series, due to years of the estates residents terrorism of an asian shopkeeper, a true sign of their ignorance and discriminative personallities.

Anyone wishing to visit this stunning city can find out more information on

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