Kirkby-in-ashfield

this is a nice and friendly town were as you walk down the street you get greeted with young and charming people in the most up to date fashion statements……. yea you wish. if your unfortunate enough to have to brave this town to get to your destinatin and manage to make it through the town with your car in tact ( for the most part ) you will instantly see their first congrgation point under the londis fore court smoking their lambert and buttler **** asking passers by if they wanna buy some pills or know if they can get a better supplier whilst sat on their stolen push bikes they nicked from the neighbours.

as you make you way through the town you come to a variety of place the first being the nag where the smack heads use to shoot up in the bogs using loo roll as bandages when they miss their veins due to the poor quallity of alcohol served. the local brew tastes of petrol and the cider is battery acid and dont go near the spirits ( i dont think mixing in a bath tub counts as distilation). the other lovley place is the acre where they gather to try to break in to the local school to nick the remaining school supplies that havent been nicked during the day.

as you venture further through the town you come to the local police station which is unmanned at all times although burnt out cop cars and vans are parked outside which is considered the artwork of the *****. the emergancy telephone on the wall to the left of the entance which most of the residents have ventured through at some time during their life has been ripped off the wall as a last attept to rid this humble town of law. so if your in need or an ambulance or the police whilst in the town …. tuff luck… your on you own.

How grim is your Postcode?

as you venture further past the cop shop you get to victoria off licence which is another popular spot for ***** to gather round where they smoke a more upper class of ****…. embassy super size. trying to pry the ATM out the hole in the wall so they can go back to the public bogs next to the nag to find one of many repituble supplies of X, weed, pills, ******, or a poor quality of crack.

as the pubs turn out at closing times their next likly spot to be found is round the lemmo (better known as lego land) estate roaming with a bottle of white lightning seting OAP’s hedges of fire and breaking the glass in the bus stops.

the ********’s do not stray from this pattern of behavour as well although if your not pushing a pram by the time your thirteen your considered a late bloomer. the ********* do like their fun though…….. prostituting them selfs out to their fellors mates whilst he’s past out drunk on the street curb. the more upper class ******** is educated into contriception by their drunk mates thinking that a mars bar rapper is a suitable contriception technique.

PLEASE I BEG TO GOD……. TO DO NOT VENTURE TO THIS TOWN UNLESS NEED BE….. on a side not… my self and a friend have wealked through this town at closing time and escaped with out a scar…. so it can be done…. but its good to have a burbree cap with you just in case and threaten any possible agressor with a good glassing which should keep you safe.