Written by Anonymous.

what do you call a kev in a box?
innit

What do you call a kev in a box with a lock on it
safe

i live in kinver, which is in dudley, and near stourbridge. collectively, they probably make up 75% of england’s chav population

i am not going to complain about the amounts of kevs in my proximity. i am actually very content. due to my lack of hobbies, i fill my spare time in by amusing myself at the sight and concept chavs/kevs/townies whatever (they cant be real!) in my experience, these uneducated deliquents can barely string a coherent sentence together. the usual structure is that of limited, incorrect english, with the word ‘fockin’ after every word. amusing

kinver
a small town with a village high school. i am sorry to say that this is the ultimate chav comp, which means 90% of kinver’s youth are scum. i used to work in the local chippy (disgraceful but its a job innit) i, being an exception to the rule as i do not attend the local school, am (thank god) not a chav, although still seem to attract unwanted attention from the male species of townie. when asking if they would like anything else other than their sausage and chips, they would reply, ‘yea your fockin number’ then breaking into fits of laughter, slapping onenother high fives. i, of course would be very amused and would smile politely and tell them to f**k off. local hot spots for chav mating include the park, quarry and the canal, popular sucluded meeting points where they may smoke their crack in peace. it is not rare to see 15 year olds pushing their double push chairs through the highstreet, clad in burberry and von bitch. it is a sad sight, these are the people i share my village with. this is where my taxes go towards council housing for lazy chavs and their chavlets.

dudley:
o yes, england’s other capital. my favourite holiday destination. perfect for luxury housing buyers. my post code comes under dudley so i assume i am another unfortunate inhabitant. dear god, it is a dreadful shame. the biggest most commercial hot spot is none other than merry hill (mezzas). swarming with burberry clad f*****s. other popular resorts include da waterfront and such like.

Stourbridge. my own friend actually dated a chav once. i endured many a conversation similar to ‘i love yow, i love yow, yam goin dawn da park lataz? i love yaw’ and other uncoherent confabulation.o yes, paul and his friend dean. paul’s favourite hobby was doing the same michael jackson dance routine every week at nappy night picture house (another popular mating spot for chavs) and he actually got payed. i was not ashamed to be associated with the likes, i was most pleased to be submerged into the not so secret life of kevs. my most favourite memory is watching them throw bricks at a phone booth until it was demolished. happy days i kid you not. comparing the sizes of their flick knives and other weapons for harming those who ‘start on them’. (i warn you not to make direct eye contact, your eyes will either be immediately burnt out, or you will be stabbed)

And so, i have shared my experiences, spread the love and warned the timid about englands other capital (dudley/dudlay). the other wonder of the world.

dont ban fox hunting. encourage chav shooting. much more fun and productive.







Top 10 worst places to live in England 2018