Well, where should I start? Kettering is absolutely dreadful and I have had the misfortune of living here for the past 9 years, luckily not in Kettering town itself. It’s riddled with crackheads, *****, grebs, whores, snakes and loads of 13 year olds thinking they’re bad because they stole their mums benefit money.
So where should I start? How about Kettering town centre, where everyone flocks to McDonald’s to find out the most recent arguments and disagreements or so called ‘beef’ by the locals. Don’t ask why they call it beef, they’re all just ******* ********. Alright, you walk into the McDonald’s in the town centre and you’re bombarded with ***** throwing chips and screaming at eachother, the 13 year old girls with their ‘maximise your assets’ bras on filled with tissue stumbling all over the place because they’re steaming from some frosty jacks, you have the 16 year old girls who get into all the nightclubs and think they’re it when really the only reason they get in is because their mum has banged all of the bouncer and given them an STI. You get the stick up girls who think they’re it when really you’ve seen some ‘tasteful’ pictures of them that they’ve been sending around yet they have the nerve to even look down their nose at you. Most of these girls mums are gold diggers anyway and they just move from man to man taking money to fund their useless little lives.
Walking through the town centre you get all of the ‘mandem’ on their bikes with their AirMax on and their full track suits with the matching man bags, you get the scrawny 16 year olds going upto anyone who looks old enough to get served asking for **** and as usual a big group of drug dealers stinking of weed, trying to hide the 1 joint they’re sharing between 10 of them. Even the adults are disgusting so much as look someone in the eye and you will get spat on. Very much like a traumatised dog, don’t look it in the eye or it will attack you.
The nightlife in Kettering is simply terrible, it’s full of 16 year old girls jumping on every **** they can passing around their STI’s, they get it from their mothers obviously. You get the strange old men looking at you from the corner rubbing their trousers as you stand looking disgusted at them. Also the ****** boys who will shag anything with a pulse, sometimes they get so drunk they’re grinding with someone’s mum, and the 16 year old daughter is going crazy because her mum is grinding on her ex boyfriend.. Yes this actually happened and I witnessed it.
Just don’t bother coming here, it’s terrible, all the people here need to get off their lazy arses get a job and sort their lives out. Kettering is a place where you will get scrutinised for even breathing, don’t even waste your time, I wouldn’t.
Northampton, also known as ‘Nofuntown’
Desborough – It amazes me how much ********** there is
Leicester – The Cheater’s Haven
Peterborough – there is no culture
Burton Latimer – **** Central Of Kettering
Peterborough – you shouldn’t be that close to your cousin
Rothwell: God’s Idea of a Joke
Northampton: characterless & overflowing with nobs & Eastern Europeans
Northampton, observe our loverly wide range of *****