Living in or moving to Keighley, Yorkshire
Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in North East, United Kingdom, Yorkshire

Well i live in good ole Keighley near Bradford. i must admit i am not proud to live there!

Go to keighley and you can guarentee you will meet a chav within 2 minutes of your stay. usualy found outside the bus station with a pram, a fag, a can of beer, a druggie boyfriend and a large number of mixed race children, no sorry BRATS, with the lads usually wearing trakkies addidas trainers a  fake burberry baseball cap + fake gold jewelry. looking like death warmed up due to the fact they cant afford any more heroin. The lasses are normaly identical to vicky off little britain. hair pulled back a shell suit from the 90’s and lots of oversized gold necklaces with ragdolls on then walk down cavendish street (be careful not to walk too close to john the tramp you might catch his fleas) and there all hanging round raja’s fast food outlet hassling innocent passers by.

Walk a bit further and you will see them all queing up at keighleys local iceland store with their benefits money and milk tokens. thats usually tuesday when benefits are paid. i had the privelidge of working there.

As for a booze up in keighley.. well.. avoid pubs such as the cavendish, the star, gatehouse and hope + anchor. K2 nightclub is an okay night but to aviod young chavs dont go in blush (101 to locals) on the last saturday on every month. they have a bassline night and your bound to get stabbed or beat up jus for buying a drink.

Also others places to avoid are:

  1. Bracken bank – most popular estate in keighley for chavs and young mothers,
    usually there is a murder or a fire most weekends.
  2. Parkwood – this is where the worst of chavs live. PARKWOOD FLATS! do not go anywhere near unless your a chav yourself. or you have a death wish.
  3. Woodhouse – near parkwood, also very rough. if you drive through, lock your doors.
  4. Braithwaite – a dam scary place, even police are scared to venture up here in groups smaller than 20
  5. Guardhouse – you’re likely to get hospitilized if you venture through here alone
  6. Lund park – home to Keighley’s asian chavs. popular site for drug dealings

There is also the young thugs to watch out for. these are normally school kids but can be quite scary when you meet them on a dark alleyway. The girls can be seen wearing clothes far too small usually with mckenzie, bench or goldigga branding. they also glow in the dark due to the fact there makeup is too orange. they usually have bassline playing on there phones, a fag and are far too gobby for there own good. can be easily confused with big words beacasue ther far too lazy to go to school.

So now i’ve terrified you into never coming into Keighley EVER, but i do recomend staying well away. There’s been 3 murders in the last couple of years all innocent people.