Keighley

I would like to nominate keighley as the ultimate in **** towns. The variants of this cancer located in Keighley are far worse than the average **** found elsewhere. For a start a, lack of designer labels you won’t find much Burberry, Stone Island etc round here the average **** would more likely be wearing an 8 year old track/shell suit reminiscent of those worn by the spice girls, a pair of hand me down Reeboks which aren’t actually classics but survivors from when they were originally released, the look of abject poverty is completed by a stained Stella t – shirt given away promotionally to regular customers. Fake jewellery is commonplace though, various oversized pendants are favourites clowns, ragdolls even a horse can be sighted with ease on a walk around the town centre. As for nights out, I just wouldn’t bother at all Leeds and Bradford are only a half hour train ride away though both are quite chavish also.The two main night spots in Keighley are Club Blush (101 to locals) and the K2 The 101 is such a **** riddled travesty that K2 is laughably labled ‘posh’ both are full of violent ******* and play the usual mix of classic rock and chart music for the older ***** downstairs and upstairs the speakers kickout some ‘stompin choons’ for the younger pilled up ***** to dance to. The drugs of choice in Keighley are mainly pills, draw (not weed, resin) and Stella which probably instigates most of the random violence dished out at closing time. Places to avoid are: anywhere around the town centre after dark, Lawkholme Lane, Highfield Lane, Lund Park, Stockbridge and Victoria park. Mainly due to asian ***** who hunt in packs for a lone white guy to punch then run away from. Also as if wasn’t ****** enough already Keighley is now receiving problem families from other estates in Manchester as there aren’t enough **** ups anyway.

How grim is your Postcode?