Ilkeston aka Ilson (The S**t Heap of Derbyshire)

Ilkeston aka Ilson (The S**t Heap of Derbyshire)

Derbyshire

SMACK crack DOSS BOOZE racist HOMOPHOBIC HELL ignorant INSANE C***S s**m S**T HOLE

GEOGRAPHY INTRO
Geographically Ilkeston is situated almost right SMACK bang in the middle of Nottingham and Derbyshire with buses and cars being the only means of transport in and out of this god forsaken hell hole. If I was a god looking down on Ilkeston I would think of it as a horrible infected nipple oozing with all manner of toxins.

GOVERNMENT PROJECT
I personally think that the whole place has been purposely shut off so that government scientists and other big brother officials can explore and experiment on this project. Yes you heard me correct the place seems infested with zombie like teenagers who seem entranced either by drugs or the television. The Jeremy Kyle show seems to be even recruiting and encouraging most of Ilkestons population onto its program.

DEVOLUTION
Teenagers and even the adults seem shameless and I would even go as far as to call most of them a devolved sub human species. The main reasons for this is that Ilkeston is an ex mining drinking community with so many pubs within such a short proximity to one another. The depletion of brain cells with the inhabitants of Ilkeston is too apparent & obvious. The Epicentre of Ilkeston used to be the Market Square a dingy tacky place. The market that comes every Thursday & Saturday seems to sell all manner of useless cheap and tacky throw away goods.

TESCO
Now the new epicentre of Ilkeston is Tescos Land a huge ice cube like structure situated at the very bottom of the S**t Heap. The thing that interests me in the Tesco’s is that people will often stand in the isles as if they were all meeting up on a street talking and gossiping without any concern for others wanting to get past or to buy an item. Again the supermarkets main seller would be alcohol.

GOOD SPOTS
Ilkeston isn’t all a slum though and in some pockets of it reside the usually old set in their ways, oap’s, without a care about the community they leave behind. Ilkeston also has its very own masonic lodge/hall situated discreetly next to the museum of which tends to offer very little information apart from dwelling on the mundane history of the area. Victoria Park is a beautiful part of Ilkeston but tends to remain un used and neglected. The odd teenager will be seen rolling up a joint near the band stand and at times they can be heard sniggering in bushes up to all manner of things.

MADNESS
After living in Ilkeston for a good 15 years trapped and socially isolated because of being surrounded by peasantry and the wrongly educated I have learn’t much of this vile gloomy place. The whole area would cause many to suffer depression possibly even bipolar due to how the place is so disorganised. Most of the residents if asked to smile would most probably crack in half due to the amount of pressure and effort it would take.

INHABITANTS
Situated in Ilkeston the people all seem to get away to the local seaside resort known as Costa Dell Skegness or Ingoldmells to paddle in the dark toxic coloured sea and now even as displayed a load of wind turbines. Lager louts and men with bright red heads walk around all acting like vikings and wishing they still had it in them to attract one of the local ladettes who even when they all dolled up still hide behind a mask of grotesque deformed monster. In fact most of the women rule Ilkeston so come to Ilkeston if you wish to be sexually assaulted by women who afterwards would possibly blame you for assaulting them. 

AREAS 51 PLUS
There are two other areas that surround Ilkeston that are actually the same place in my opinion but each resident of each place would argue with that as they still are very territorial in Ilkeston. Its very yorkshire and clicky and anyone who seems to appear decent and well kept would be thrown out like in the slaughted lamb pub in film American Werewolf in London. Areas such as Kirk Hallam are full of inbreds and many of the local mentally disabled all seem to live in that area. Kirk Hallam even has its own made up mafia that try their best to go around causing mayhem but their bark is much worse than their bite unless they let their dogs off their leads to attack the local wildlife ( Yes I even witness a dog rip a duckling to shreds only to amuse the gang )
Cotmanhey aka Grotmanhey is the worst ever part of Ilkeston and one could get high even walking through the area. Don’t even think about attending one of the clubs in the area without being harassed or given daggers by the locals. Do not walk around the area at night bad things can happen, vampires and all other creatures walk the streets or drunken retards whats the difference. Kids would even possibly call you a paedo for even looking their way and you would end up with some parent hunting you down with BB gun.

WORK & PROSPECTS
The Job Centre in Ilkeston seems to be actively encouraging unemployment with lack of support and resources given to those who show any interest in looking for employment. The only jobs available in ilkeston would be dead end mundane things such as shelf packing and other low paid soul destroying retail jobs or factory work. Some areas of Ilkeston are more for those who live beyond their means and commute in which they have to travel to their jobs and never even spend much time in the homes they paying thousands on.

CONCLUSION
To Conclude things, if the Erewash council would stop being so corrupt and putting money into things that don’t seem to benefit the area things might change. If they built more community centres and support groups then all of the crack addicts and dole dossers mights be able to get somewhere and better themselves. More industry needs to be developed in the area instead of lots of buildings for commuters. Lastly a Railway station needs to be developed also so that people can put their suitcases in to get away and escape.

By: Ilkeston Watcher


Top 10 worst places to live in England 2019