Hunstanton (Norfolk) – **** holiday heaven

Whereas Badajoz may be a popular holiday hotspot for those ***** educated enough to actually know where Spain is, I fear that the great uneducated majority of ***** subsequently opt to holiday in the UK. Of all the places they could go to for sun, smoke and ******** (Southend anyone?), many flock to that strange west-facing spot on the east coast – Hunstanton.

Hunstanton has all that the discerning **** could want on their holiday…

– A large amusment arcade on the seafront, packed to bursting with those grabber machines where the younger chavlings can put away a weeks worth of their parents dole money on trying to win a cheap cuddly version of the donkey from Shrek.

How grim is your Postcode?

– A larger and even more tacky looking funfair where one can witness young male chavlings rampaging around pretending to shoot people with plastic toy guns while Mummy and Daddy ***** can hurtle about on the dogems knocking seven bells out of anyone who gets in the way.

– Next to the funfair a large mobile home park where a **** can rent a little something that looks exactly like home. The nearby Tescos gives Mummy and Daddy **** somewhere to send the chavlings whilst they sort out an increase in forthcoming benefit payments and maybe a larger council house in the only way ***** know how…

– A nice long seafront where the elderly and overweight male **** feels content to strip to nothing but his shorts and gold necklace and go for a piss in the sea. His wife can slouch in a deckchair, her bright pink low-cut top and tight white 3/4 length leggings contrasting so nicely with her orange tan and too-short grey hair, and smoke the afternoon away whilst eyeing up the 20 year old out for a paddle as a potential toyboy.

Not nice…

I tell you, Badajoz may be a **** mecca but it beats this dump hands down, the paella would be better for a start…