Hull – Officially Rubbish

Living in Hull

Following the revelation by Channel 4 that Hull is the worst place to live in England, based on official government statistics, the local “news” programme Look North has been in uproar. They have over the last few days been wondering the streets of ‘Ull asking the locals what they think. They originally asked Kate Aidy but she turned the job down stating that “she was brave not stupid”, given that the camera crew are wondering around Ull in the middle of the day the only people they are finding to interview are heavily tattooed ******* slack jawed morons that confirm Channel 4’s finding as soon as they appear on camera and the nail is well and truly driven into the coffin lid when they take the *** out of their mouth to grunt that ‘Ull is great and dem suv’ners don’t know noffin’.

Hull is s**t, as confirmed by the smell that lingers around the City Centre (which was also subject to a recent series of in-depth reports on Look North – which basically concluded that s**t smells). I lived in Hull until I was ten but my parents decided to moved when local gangs started to have pitched battles using such weapons as garden sheers on the playing field next to our house. I’m now living back in Hull and I have a child of my own, unusually for Hull born in wed-lock. I’m now desperately saving money so I can afford to move out of Hull, I would rather remove my own eyes with a rusty spoon than allow my child to enter the ‘Ull education system.

There are some good people in Hull but they are an ever-decreasing minority, the balance of power needs to shift away from the **** and back to the honest working people, reword people for going to work not punish them with high taxes and don’t reward people for staying at home and breading more little mutants.

How grim is your Postcode?

Apparently, the people on the estates in ‘Ull live in boarder-line poverty, well I wish I was poor enough to be able to go to the pub every night, be able to afford to smoke 40 a day, eat only takeaways and still have money to go to the bookies and afford sky TV.

If anybody is any doubt about the quality of people in ‘Ull just spend 10 minutes stood outside the Maternity Unit at Hull Royal Infirmary, watch in amazement as 15 year old Courtney shouts at her 3 kids to “fooking get back ear or I’ll fooking bray yer” as she chain smokes her 3 *** before re-entering the building to spitting out another no-dad, to be honest, when I think about it really does scare the **** out of me – theses people are taking over the country, can the last tax payer leaving the country please turn off the lights.

Ferensway has gone through a large upgrade recently is actually turned into a high, recepectiful part of hull with its high retail and transport, however prospect street is just a run down piece of low retail and a ground of rubbish.