Hull (14th Century)

North EastYorkshire

Many articles have been posted on this very web site claiming many towns to be the Chav Capital of England; I would like to raise another point to finally claim the Burberry Clad Crown for Hull

Some time ago whilst an archaeological dig was taking place on the site on a new Law Court (the existing facilities where not adequate to process all the criminal scum in Hull, criminality being the biggest growth industry in Hull) they discovered the remains of a 14th Century Friary, the remains of several Monks were also found (these having been buried within the Friary itself). The Monks of this particular order where like many other in the fact that they where supposed to live poor and celebrate lives, however when they examined the body they found that many of them had died of …………Syphilis…..Yes these “celibate” Monks had died of an STD. Given that these Monks where poorly dressed, had no real job and where disease ridded in my book this not only makes them the first scientifically proved Chavs but also martyrs to the cause.

It is likely that the basted descendants of these very ChavaMonks now populate most of Hull and are currently being sentenced to a 10 stretch in Hull’s Finest Finishing School (Hedon Road Prison) just feet above the final resting place of there fourfarthers (no it’s not a spelling mistake – many of the Hull Chavs have at least four possible contenders for the title of Farther)

Now having such a pedigree surly nobody can have a stronger claim to the Chav Capital title than Hull.







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