Ah Honiton. Well there is two opinions of Honiton . The first is that Honiton is a splendid market town which is renowned for making lace and pottery with an energetic night life. There’s never adull moment in Honiton. And there is the other opinion. Honiton is the biggest s**t hole in the south west with a shed load of antique shops and thats about it.
Honiton is full of C**v’s. They are everywhere. There was one time when no such low life existed in Honiton but now you can’t even walk down the street without one of themhurling abuse at you or throwing a brick through a shop window. This place has been invaded.
Right then where do we start. The C**v hangouts. One favourite C**v hangout is out side llyods Bank. This is mainly a hang out for all the Chavettes in Honiton. They all sit on the benchs with their cheap jewlery, their sports clothing and their pink handbags. And they are only 14! As you walk pass them you can smell the smoke from their ciggarettes and their cheap perfume. All you can hear is the swearing and “Ooh Stacy’s pregnant again” “what how many is that now” “Only 5 all by different men. She’s 13 now i think that she is geting a bit old for kids don’t you?” And as you go to use the cashpoint the abuse that you get from these 13 year olds is “Give me a f*****g shag you twat”, “Give us some money” and “Have you any voddy?”. One thing is that I have noticed with these Chavettes is that they are all fat, ugly and sad if all they have to do with their lives is sit on a bench outside a bank night after night talking to the same people.
The second hangout is a housing estate called St. Pauls. This is know to the residents of Honiton as “Kosovo” and “Bairuit” or some over desolate place. This is the C**v centre of Honiton. NO ONE DARES TO GO DOWN THERE!!!! This place can be seen from the road and you can see 5 year olds out side smoking and 10 year olds outside drinking vodka. I have been into this place a few times (yes I did come out unharmed luckly) and there is burnt out cars, fighting, kids who will sit in the road and wont let you pass and the biggest collection of Vauxhall Novas in the South west. If you ever come to Honiton DO NOT venture into this place.
The C***s have even invaded the pubs in Honiton. I was in my local the other night drinking with my friends, as you do, and suddenly there was a bash at the door. The pub fell into silence and everyone turned to look at the door. The door bashed again. Everyone thought that a drunk was trying to get in. Then, Suddenly, the door flung open. A C**v flew in through the door with a C******e grabbing onto his throat Screaming “where’s My F*****g Dog?” The hav replied “I don’t have your f*****g dog”. any way this went on for some time. And the C**v refused to go outside in fear that he was going to get beaten up by the C******e’s Brother/Boyfriend. They then got chucked outside. As we turned to the baraid she told us that she acctually had C**v fighting in there the night before as well.
In Honiton there is also a Farmer C**v who rides around in a Vauxhall Nova (caked up in S**t) with blacked out windows and a really expensive looking cheap stereo system. This guy drives around with his stereo on full blast with music like Gwen Steffani on thinking that he looks cool but what he accually looks like is a Farmer C**v riding around with the stereo on which is accually shaking the car to pieces. Man that guy needs to get a life, a bath and a make-up artist.
Well that concludes my C**v guide of Honiton. I’m off to go C**v spotting. If you would like to do some C**v spotting, then come to Honiton. Honiton=Argos+Market Stalls=Cheap “Bling” + Cheap fags and really nasty clothes!!!