Written by Anonymous. Posted in Uncategorised

Hidden chavs

Close your eyes. Imagine a warm tropical breeze on your cheeks and the sounds of a large asian city in your ears. Cars are honking, Catonese is being spoken at a decible level that defies belief, the smell of dried cuttlfish hangs in the air. You feel you are as far from Chavdom as you could possibly be. Out of the corner of your eye you catch a gleam of checkered beige, you heart stops for a moment till you realise its a Burberry handbag carried by a middlaged well dressed bussiness woman.

As you stroll up the street to Lang Kwai Fong and into a club booming out R’n’B Pop mixes you notice the atmosphere has changed. You Are now surrounded by skinny asian youths sporting outlandish afros and wearing tanktops baggy tracksuit trousers white trainers or basketball boots and either a bandana or a cap perched on top of their heads. You have entered the realm of the upper class Chinese Chav or as they term themselves chiggers. These are the chavs at the top of the food chain (a drink in one of these bars can cost 9 quid) hoopy earings and Burberry abound they have even designed a new style of trousers that I like to call the I’ve shat myself pants. The trousers start off baggy at the top to an absurdly low crotch and then become skin tight at the knees. If your are ultra trendy the crotch is cut out and replaced with tartan material somtimes in purple. the effect of wearing these pants is to reduce the wearers mobility to a waddle.

As you move to more lower class areas in HK the fashion changes slightly for girls as the Japanese influence takes over. The track suit is replaced by non-matching strippy socks over which is worn a vibrant ra ra skirt and three overlapping tanktops of vairying pastel shades the ensamble is topped off with huge hoopy earings ( the more the better) and an old skool baseball cap (the type with the plastic mesh) As you step into Cyber or 348 (local discos) you are astounded by the mix one room pumping out hard trance or cheeze rave and the other area not devoted to chill out as would be natural but to karaoke. Hardcore chiggers are out till the bar closes at 11:30am at which point they pick up their customised toyota or honda civic from the neares underground car park and idle in a sidestreet reving menecingly at street sweepers the general public and each other. At this point fights usually breakout. The key thing to remember is your avarage chigger is also connected with the triads and organised crime (ie the guy in the ridiculous pants is quite capable of getting his mate together and attacking you with a meat cleaver ) most fights involve just verbal abuse the most common insult being go f**k your mother but some do escalate. viewing these fights is like watching krusty the clown as the lead in texas chainsaw massacre.

The main reason chav culture hasn’t exploded in HK is the lack of social welfare. Hence your average wanabe chav or chavette has to hold down a day job

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