Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in South East

Hockley really is the rural branch of Chavs Southend Ltd but really doesn’t deserve this ever growing identity. It is a well off village with loads of snobby bastards who waste their weekends washing their BMW’s and trotting round the local tennis courts safe in the knowledge their next paycheck will buy their kids another pair of air force ones and a new album of 50 Cent (the twat!). The growing village just a chavs throw from the pits of Southend on Sea and actually is one of the richest villages around the s**t hole of Saafend. It boasts 3 pubs, a Somerfield, countless takeaways, a railway station (now playing classical music to get the inbreds to piss off and leave commuters to get home) and plenty of park benches for white lightning testing.
For some reason the HQ of chavs in Hockley seems to be the railway station where the little bastards aged between 9-20 congretate and discuss the nights target numbers of muggings. After 8pm, anyone who attempts to cross the bridge is given the most evil looks Hitler himself wouldnt consider highering them for his SS. If you look insecure enough then they in no such words ask if you would like to provide donations to their cause in the form of cash, Visa, Mastercard, Switch and any type of phone. If you do not wish to then they can organise you a B&B for the night at Southend A&E.
Although residents seem to be fighting back and the younger normal members of the community walk around in groups of 5 or so which is far too big for any chav group to attack and it will not be long till the chavs will be tasting curbs and respect and prestige will once again return to the village.
Personally i blame the parents who seem to think their child can do no wrong and believes they are going out to help the many old ladies across the roads (Ha! Dumb, nieve rich bastards). Perhaps you should get out of your new BMW and Porche 4X4 and take the train, you might see your fucked up chav son or chavette daughter mating or drinking White Lightning whilst waiting for the 20.41 to Saafend.
Still Hockley is a damn site better than nearby Chavildon and Shitsea. That we are all greatful for!