Living in Histon, Cambridge
Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in Cambridgeshire

It’s all about the pubs in this place and you will never meet a duller bunch of arse candles lingering around the bar at the King Bill Pub, anywhere else, within a 50 mile radius. The pub also has a back room where the chavs are segregated from the general population of mongrels at the main bar.

The Barley Mow pub is the arsehole of the village, anyone who has managed to be banned from this pub has ruined their life in to exile. Most regulars at the Barley Mow are notoriously banned from all other pubs in the village. Every weekend promises a royal rumble between random pikeys from out of town and the local shitlords.

The people of Histon truly are a cloak and dagger bunch, never to be trusted. In any case you find yourself doing any sort of business with these people, take second thoughts. This may include local pretty girls hiring themselves out, whilst thinking they are being very discreet, as sexual escorts for the night, to any man willing to pay via sugar daddy websites and the like. This sort of conduct is on the rise in Cambridge as a whole.

Many of the plebs in Histon have migrated from the notorious Arbury wing of Cambridge, just down the busway. They consider themselves upgraded to the shitlord status of their former shadows as residents of Histonville. One thing to keep in mind about this village and the people who reside there is that they can not afford to live here due to extreme prices of the county, but they continue to suffer their depression and inbreed their families in this neoslum of Cambridge that was once a thriving and pleasant village.