Written by Anonymous. Posted in East London

What people forget is that just like animals, the chav can commonly be found nearest the nearest suitable food source.

Highams park is literally awash with second rate pizza joints, Kebaberys and half arsed burger places that serve up cullinary delights to keep the chavs skin oily and shiny – which also compliments their heavily gelled french crops.

The actual town itself is a haven for chavs. The chav will be drawn into the town like a moth to a lightbulb, by such architectural wonders as its many brightly lit fast food joints, crass pound shops and the capital of the town – ‘the regal’ snooker hall. The regal is the centre piece of the town. It not only provides the chav with unlimited pints of warm lager without questioning age, but also a sense of belonging. Chavs can comingle with one another an compare shitty flip up wesley snipes style basketball caps, as well as put the world to rights over who has the whitest air max, or the tightest moschino jeans.

After a night in the regal, the chavs can be seen in many of the towns crumbling doorway’s, often with their heavily sovereigned hands stuffed down their girlfriends pink velour bingo pants, sucking on one anothers greasy faces. The male chav will have his cap flicked back in order to keep the female chavs tightly pulled back hair in order. A typical chav evening will then be rounded off by taking the pink velour chavette into his vehicle and wheelispinning off into the poorly tarmaced roads of this thoroughly disgusting town. The highams park chav will almost certainly own a for or vauxhall, anything else will earn him a shunning from his fellow chavs.

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