DerbyshireEast Midlands

I simply cannot believe that Heanor has not yet been added to the list of Chaviest towns going. I myself am not from Heanor, which frankly is evident from my use of the English language and a computer, but i do have the horror of working in the hell hole 5 days a week.

Now you should be warned that once you enter Heanor, the driving style of the residents is lethal. The use of an indicator seems to be forbidden, you make your own rules when on the mini-roundabout, which is very much helped by the lack of indication. Reversing without using the rear view mirror seems to be a favourite also, especially in Tesco carpark.

Now talking of Tesco, they have just introduced self service till points which astounds me as people in Heanor do not need a reason to nick off with goods but your just handing it to them on a plate.

Now I’d say that the best **** spots would have to be on the retail park opposite Tesco where you can find the delights of Aldi, Peacocks, In Store and the best yet…Home Bargains. An accidental venture into what looks like a reasonable shop from the outside can leave you scarred for life. It’s especially good for a bit of trans-gender spotting.

The other **** hangout has to be the market. The hub of every town, the market place offers the Cosi-Market for all your key cutting needs (why bother though when you can just kick the door in), quality tacky ornaments (obviously left over from various night time excursions) and cheap knocked off videos recorded in someones back room.
The famous Crest of The Wave chippie is right next door to the Bargain Booze outlet which makes for a fantastic (and cheap) first date for all the 13 year olds whos main ambition in life is to get pregnant in order to secure a council house.

I would have to say that the most entertaining part of my day is when the factory workers knock off their shift (approx 4.30pm). **** spotters heaven, but make sure you don’t stare for too long as you may not be around to tell the tale!

Top 10 worst places to live in England 2020