There’s a war going on in Harrow – a class war and the ranks of the Chav Army keep swelling (thanks to a steady rate of teen pregnancy) every day!
Despite the fact that the Borough of Harrow has more millionaires than any other London Borough and is home to one of the most exclusive grammar schools in the world – Harrow School – this town is being taken over by Chavs!
Chavs in Harrow hang around outside Argos (while their Chav Girlfriends look at the latest jewellery from the Elizabeth Duke Collection inside), the Cinemas and McDonalds.
It is virtually impossible to go to the movies in Harrow now and enjoy the cinematic experience without ignorant chavs expending their 15-minute attention span before the feature film has actually started. The non-Chav classes are hardly catered for anymore as films shown reflect the Chav mentality. (Sequels, films starring Ashton Kutcher, blockbusters.)
Time nightclub is a favourite as are Yates Winebar, Moon-on-the-Hill, Rat and Parrot and The Fat Controller pubs.
There are some places that are Chav free. Ottakers the bookshop is a safe haven as we all know Chavs don’t read; Monsoon and Debenhams is generally too expensive for them and Harrow-on-the-Hill is completely Chav-free (unless, of course they are up there to go feeeving!). Nandos has a few Chavs visit it but chicken is no good for most of them uless it is fried and comes in a bucket.
Primark, New Look, Mark One, Ocean and JD-Sports are the preferred fashion houses for Chavs (plus JD Sports bags make great bags for the chavlets at school).
The latest trends among the Chavlets at the high schools are sucking on dummies and wearing baby Kickers shoes or Timberlands slung around the neck to hold keys and other small items. This is forward thinking from Chavs as most are only a short time away from getting pregnant with their own designer Chav baby and at least they’ve invested in the child’s first pair of shoes.
Walking around Harrow you are greeted with lots of fluro green and yellow Chav mucous spit on the ground. Chavgirls show off their pregnant or just fat bellies in Umbro track pants and FCUK t-shirts or Chav mummies push their unfortunate Chavscum in taxpayer-funded pushchairs.
Chav lads strut around smoking and punctuating their limited converations with swear words. Another entertaining sight is Chav couples conducting their domestics out in public and the stunned onlookers simply serve as their audience. As Chavs have little of no self-awareness and nothing going for them in their lives, creating public drama spectacles doesn’t cause shame and gives them a little bit of excitement (the ultimate though has to be an appearance on Trisha!).
As few Chavs in Harrow seem to be employed, it is a mystery how they afford Sky and the flat plasma screems that can be seen glowing from the windows of Chav housing association flats. And shop owners in Harrow are rubbing their hands together in glee hundreds of pounds are spent on ‘special’ Chav accessories and goods for Christmas. (Mobile phone upgrade anyone?). Recent chav conversation overheard between two (jobless) Chav boys pushing their ‘blood’ in pushchairs one lunchtime: “I’ve f***ing got to spend £400 quid on her presents ‘cos she’s f***ing got me a £200 phone and other s**t “.