Harlow, Essex.

East AngliaEssex

Here we have Harlow – the most Chavtastic Town of them all…

Its a total C**v-magnet with its classy food establishments (Maccy D’s and Piggy’s cafe) making it one of the most desired areas for any type of C**v.

In Harlow your never far from a JobCentre Plus or the local Poundstretcher – allowing your benefit to go ‘that much further’… There is even a young persons hostel to house young Rebel C***s that aren’t ‘pregnant’ enough to go straight into a council house, wonderful.

The Local Nightlife is superb, witnessing at least 18 P***y Brawls per evening because the local bouncers (skin head c***s) only turn you away if your Burberry is REAL.

The local Girls think ‘Jimmy Choo’s’ is a Chinese takeaway and the only retailer of Gucci bags that exists is Ebay, they also never quite realised that their ‘REAL’ Gucci Messenger Bag was never manufactured in Shocking Pink.
But you’ve got to love them, for all there Orange make-up, drawn on eyebrowes and North Weald Market Gypsy Skirts – some aren’t a bad lot at all really.

The Boys in Harlow really do set it off with there Elizabeth duke (Beckham) earings and a pair of jeans that look life they’ve gone through the office shredder, most of them will tell you they are footballers – only to find out they are really a sub for the local pub team.

Locals revel in regular screen debuts on the Trisha Show (My Dad is my Brother)… Harlow proves to be a very promising area for Trisha’s research team.

All in all its the most C**v-matic place to be so put all the C***s on a Big Burberry Buss and send them this way!

Laterz! x


Top 10 worst places to live in England 2019