2nd report from Hammersmith:

You may remember me reporting this ******** a while back and slating the **** out of it. Well its now time for chapter two….

The problems have worsened since my last report, Incest, Inter racial breeding, thieves, muggers, *** pests and ***** (Only a handful of problems the local council face)

Last week I had the misfortune of having to cross the bridge and pick something up from Habitat. I originally purchased the item in Kingston, But they said I needed to pick it up from the Hammersmith ******* branch (*****).

Armoured with my stab proof vest a good local knowledge and angry temper (at the time) I started walking over. It wasn’t long before my first bit of trouble…..

“Av you got a *** mate”

I ignored the little rat faced, big eared **** and carried on walking. Suddenly I felt a belt across the chops. some suicidal ******* happy slapped me. Well he may have been happy, but I wasn’t.
I didn’t bother chasing him because he was with about 9 or 10 other little yobs. Anyway, Later that day I went clubbing and had to pass through Hammersmith again to get the underground up to Leicester square.

On my travels, I took a short cut through the pea body estate (this would be very eventful)……….

…..I noticed a rat faced little hooded gimp at the edge of the road with blood pouring down its face as I approached it, I noticed it was that boy from earlier. He was crying and said he just got mugged for his mobile phone and wallet.

I laughed my ******* head off and said “Ha Ha Ha, you’ve been happy slapped”

WHAT GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND. always remember that you Chavy, *****, ****** ******** out there.

known by me, as Hammer”****”, this is one of the first major towns in London to be hit by the influx of **** and ethnic ******. I live just over the Bridge in a respectful town called Barnes, Unfortunately Hammer”****” is the closest place to visit for shopping etc., And what an unpleasant experience it can be……

……The main place for ***** is JD sports, Here you will find people of many ethnic backgrounds, desperately looking for the clothes their R&B idols wear, The hooded sweater with baseball cap and jogging bottoms are all trademarks in Hammer”****” Oh, don’t forget the “bling” they obtain from Elizabeth Duke (Argos) which they purchase shortly after their brief visit to KFC, which consists of the extra value bucket meal with enough greasy chicken to feed a family of 10.

Can I also make a correction regarding Primark. this is NOT for *****, only **** parents go there, The typical single, stick thin, peroxide blonde, mother with a pram weighed down with Iceland bags. Her name is often “Rita” or “Sandra”

Asylum seekers and refugees also go there to spend the vouchers they are given by the government which us taxpayers pay for, hence the reason why you see 7 or 8 kids outside pressed against the 20ft glass panelled windows, holding loads of shopping bags.

Going back to ***** though, they mostly live just above the “Kings Mall” in the run down council flats.

The Hop Poles, William Morris and Edward’s are all **** watering holes before going to the Hammer”****” po na na (formerly Palais) this was renamed and redesigned to give the feeling of being in a hot foreign country, with palm trees, stone washed walls and glamorous interior. I think this decoration can be taken away now, as all of the foreigners who attend every Friday & Saturday provide us with this experience.