Grimsby

This comment is mainly about all the idiots at Blundell Park, Grimsby. Being from Scunthorpe which can be pretty ****** itsself, when my team play the codheads at Grimsby, why do I always have to leave with a police escort in case I get my head kicked in by *****? Which I nearly have several times over the years that i’ve supported Scunthorpe United. We don’t have the same problems with other away games, I think the increased amount of ***** has turned once hostile Grimsby into a volatile place for outsiders. The ******* forget: people like me who have nothing better to do, come and keep their economy alive, they only survive through tourism, and let them turn into a ghost town when people stop coming in case they get knifed by *****.

This country is going to the ******* dogs, ***** are so pathetic yet they think its cool to stand on street corners saying ‘give us a ***’. I sound about 60 years old, but truth is, at 16 i’m about **** age, not unpopular or goody-two-shoes but ***** are so gay, you just laugh at them. They are a standing joke in Scunthorpe anyway.

“It’s black, It’s white, its full of ******* *****, Grimsby town….”

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Grimsby

Grimsby is a welcome place for ***** who rule the town and surrounding villages. There are many **** Gangs and territories which cannot be entered by non-***** (i.e. Goths, Grebs, Skaters, Mods, Students and such).
There are some with names such as the GY Twoc Squad, Wally Boys, Humbo Boys, Square Lot and more.
There are plenty of **** Hangouts in the town and there are many fine McDonalds restaurants for when they want to eat out and if the **** has just got their Giro they can go upmarket to Burger King.
Grimsby and the nearby town of Cleethorpes has plenty of clubs with some designed for *****.
The Riverhead includes Yates’s, Lloyeds Ice Barque, Walkabout w/ Surfers upstairs, Fused and Chicagos.
Yates’s is ******** with ***** who trash the bar constantly making it a dangerous place at night. I wen there one night and got to hear a group of 20 year old las talking about how they were going to jump a 15 year old girl.
Lloyds is usually full of Students isn’t a pure **** bar like Yates’s however the odd Burberry wearing ******* still manages to get in.
Walkabout seems to change its age policy from being 20 plus to 18 plus so ***** still manage to get in. Upstairs at Walkabout is Surfers which has a rock night each week so this is sometimes a safe haven for Grebs.
Fused is the older (19 yrs) ***** bar with frequent drug users and unprovoked fights.
Chicagos is for the older ***** and not the **** under 19.
The Goth/Greb clubs are now under threat from *****. The Barge and The Matrix are ruled by Goths and Grebs but Gullivers is being invaded by ***** so if it goes the way of the **** then the Grebs will lose one of their few hangouts.
The youngling ***** can also be seen on nights out. These young cider drinkers cannot get into clubs so they can be seen ******* around outside drinking cider and heckling passers by with incoherent gibberish.
Freshney Place Shopping Centre is best avoided during School holidays and weekends as Young **** Mall **** populate the place all day so you may get to see these little **** being thrown out by Security Guards. Young Greb Mall **** can also be seen but these have declined over the last couple of years.
Certain areas in the town are dangerous to walk into including Nunsthorpe, The Grange and Central Areas of Grimsby.

Grimsby has its own delapidated cinema which was the place for ***** to see the latest films and smoke weed however the new deluxe cinema in Cleethorpes has attracted the attention of the ***** so it needs to be ruined to a god awful state.
All ***** work in the same industry, the Bluecrest Fish Factories so there is no need for an education here if you are a **** since you can earn around £5.00 an hour during the week and £8.00 an hour on Sundays. Think how much you could spend on Cider and Weed,

In conclusion Grimsby is the place to be if your a **** however if you are a Punk Skater, Greb, Goth or anyone that can speak properly my advice is stay away.

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Grimsby

Well, what can I say first of all other than I am shocked Grimsby is not already mentioned (apart from it’s link with Sunny old Scunny). This town is the laughing stock of the whole Lincolnshire/Humberside area, if not the country.

Yes, it’s been slated in terms of the football media for the diobolical Grimsby Town FC, where such legends as Steve Bruce have often referred to the town as the ultimate low point of their lives, when comparing to league successes.
e.g. “To think we’re flying high in the Premiership now when we were playing at Blundell Park on a dreary Monday night is unthinkable…”

Alas, the poor performance of such a football team does not warn away gatherings of ***** in their masses, with a rockport-style nike kit of black and white stripes being the ultimate compliment to their ‘Blueberry’ (counterfeit) caps and Reebok Classics. And one of four (if not more) Macdonalds in the town situated directly opposite the stadium.

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It’s the hometown of one of the Country’s biggest hate figures in Maxine Carr, not to mention her Mother, who undoubtedly defines the term MIHT (Mum I’d hate to ****) – or just the elder class of **** altogether.

After a hard day of spawning criminals and terrorising normal people in the town center all week, there’s nothing better ***** like to do then relax over a few (understatement) bevvys on a Friday night. Oh, the choices! Never has one town seen so many hang-outs for the antisocial **** of the earth!

Let’s see, there’s the ever popular Riverhead establishment. A Yates’s situated on the corner for ultimate **** accessibility (we can’t send them too far away from the town center for fear of endangering themselves near the main road now can we?) – that place might as well be sponsored by Burberry and Rockport. Next to that we have Lloyd’s Wetherspoons, which is admittedly never completely awash with with *****, for they may be considered ‘cool’ to be ******* with the students and trendies (imagine the thought!). Then there’s a Walkabout, Fused and the elder-***** favourite, Chicago Rock Cafe. No entry without a flickknife and upturned collars, sorry.

Of course, I’ve clearly not mentioned the unique stylings of the typical Grimsby ****. There’s your basic elements of the strange language (I can’t understand it myself so I won’t get into that), the clothes and the distinct attitude problems. However, Grimsby ***** have a particular aura of rotting fish. How odd. But of course they mostly work in the town’s main trade factories which are situated near the docks. £4.50 an hour at 16? Yes please! No education for me, thanks…that went out the window a long time ago. So you see it’s not just Gemma-Lou-Marie’s mighty strong pins unravelling at the site of a hefty skinhead coming her way that is letting off a nasty pong.

There is a fair amount of expendature going to waste around the town to accomodate for this ****, however. The Macdonalds in the town center has recently been refurbished to make way for more dining areas! How wasteful. Everyone knows ***** don’t need to sit down to eat at a table. Stick a few bus stop seats in there, that’s what I say. Guaranteed income booster.

Anway, that’s all for now, I better go as I don’t want to infuriate myself before going out to celebrate my A Level results. Hmm, I guess that means there won’t be many ***** out tonight. Result!

Grimsby

Welcome to the **** centeral of England! Visit the local market, where you can find many fashionable clothing items and discout prices, such as Burberry caps, Louis Vuiton handbags and much more. Or if you feel like a night why not visit one of the bars and clubs in Cleethorpes or Grimsby Town Centre.

If there was a leaflet advertising Grimsby in its entirety then this would probably be the opening paragraph. Grimsby is a town where culture and tolerance are an endangered species. I live in Grimsby (though thankfully not a native) and never cease to be amazed by the level of stupidity that the locals display.

The main housing Estate in Grimsby is the Nunsthorpe (nunny) estate. The ‘nunny’ is where everyone who is anyone in the **** world of Grimsby lives, it is an especially awesome site at Christmas when all the lights are out (last year one house had a 3 and a half foot Santa Claus and snow man in the front garden). You can get all your Drugs locally and there is likely to be a dealer down your road, don’t know when the next shipment arrives? Don’t worry just listen out for the fireworks, they’ll tell you when all the smacks in.

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Need some friends? Why not join the GY massive, it’s THE gang to be in, or if you prefer just to hang around and do criminal damage with your mates, join the GY twockers, steal a car, drive it around for a bit, torch it in a public place. Don’t forget the dress code though, Rockport boots, addidas ‘trackies’, Henri Lloyd t-shirt and jumper and lots of jewelry, the more the better.

Need to talk to your friends from the comfort of your own home, but have no credit on your mobile phone to text with, just use Msn Messenger. You dont want to get mistaken as one of those ‘sweaty greebos’ though so you have to have a name like ‘dOnT hAtE Me BeCaUsE iM bEaUtIfUl, hAtE mE bEcAuSe YoUr BoYFrIeNd ThInKs I aM’ or ‘sExI (name).

The last thing you need to know to be a **** in Grimsby is to start on anything that moves, especially old ladies and non-*****.

Come to Grimsby (only if you’re a **** though)

Grimsby

The amateur anthropologist of the underclass will find much to study in the North East Lincolnshire town of Great Grimsby.

Indeed, I have been conducting informal participant observation of the **** section of the populace of this fine town and am able to make some interim observations:

a) Charver activity is reaching epidemic proportions.

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b) Sales of Rockport, Timberland boots, Stone Island and indeed the local speciality clothing label of **** choice “Henri Lloyd” (grotesquely-overpriced pastel-coloured leisurewear with a Fred Perry-esque laurel wreath logo) are booming.

c) Good local places to espy **** clothes shopping are: Abbeygate shopping centre (Henri Beene is a good place to start), one of the several hundred stores called Sportssummat, and their Nan’s Kays catalogue.

d) Failing this, try Cleethorpes “Wonderland” Sunday market, a delirious collection of knock-off perfumeries, vans selling iffy meat, and next years DVDs. Shoppers are exactly 50% ****, and 50% benefit investigators and local trading standards officers. A special point of interest is the stall that does a roaring trade in “Rocksport” branded gear, I **** you not.

e) With one of the highest teenage pregnancy rates in the UK, unprotected chavsex, usually with a ****-cousin, is on the rise. This is why the local paper’s personal ads have congratulatory GCSE adverts featuring both young Kellie-Ann and her two-year old Rooney-Jamelia-****-You-Right-Back pictured.

f) Local **** drinking establishments include The new Riverhead development of chain pubs. Affectionalely known to the locals as “The Glasshouses”, this is where the **** come to play. Boasting both a Yates and a Lloyds No 1 bar, the price-conscious scruff can imbibe their inadequate fill before going on to sick up their McNuggets in the cab home. Obviously under-age ***** can drink either outside any of the local offlicences to which licensing laws are obviously somewhat optional, or the cluster of low-rent boozers near the railway station (Huxters, Pestle and Mortar, Melt, Litten Tree and Parity) where Carling Extra Cold and Balieys Glide are freely available.

g) Other favoured venues for the ****-spotter to watch in wonder are: Cleethorpes seafront (a dizzying spectacle of J-reg Astras, Ibiza compilation CDs, fake Burberry and McFlurry cartons), local theme park Pleasure Island (come and watch the young male **** at work, ogling holidaying Yorkshire *********), and best of all the patch of grass outside Grimsby Police Station on a Sunday morning, where a congregation of several generations of ***** will collect to welcome young Darren back from his post-TWOCing night in the cells.

So come to Grimsby. The sociologist’s paradise!

Grimsby

**** Central – I nominate Grimsby as the **** Capital of Britain!!!
This town is overrun with ***** – loud, foul-mouthed, shaven-headed yobs (and that’s just the women!!!) who clog up the town like a virus. It’s unfair to call them Townies, as that is a reference to supporters of Grimsby Town FC (the local football team).

Dressed in the ubiquitous Burberry caps, Hilfiger tops, Adidas bottoms and fresh-out-the-box white trainers, and SO. MUCH. JEWELLERY. In a desparate bid to convince everyone they’re not really the white-trash estate thicko **** that they really are.
(Question: If ***** really are that rich, how come you never see one in Marks & Spencers?)

Grimsby is rife with these obnoxious, semi-literate, semi-conscious ******* (mostly called Ryan or Nikki). The town is FULL of pubs, the shopping centre is chocka with pound shops and cheap sportswear outlets (even though the only sport they do is the ‘400m-dash-down-the-street-with-someone-else’s-video’) and, of course, there are the ubiquitous Aldi and Lidl stores.

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Of particular note should be the town’s many grotty estates, particularly the Nunsthorpe Estate (pronounced ‘Nunny’) where the sound of firearms, fights and breaking glass is drowned out only by the sound of Happy Hardcore blaring from every Council House bedroom window and every Golf GTI that skids past you on the run from the police.

The town literally comes alive every weekend to the sound of sirens as ***** fight with ***** from other families/estates over spilt pints/unfaithful ********* and other senseless, meaningless nonsense. This place is so bad that drug dealers spray-paint their phone numbers on the side of council houses, for anyone who wants a career opportunity as a courier …
(Another question: Why are ALL ***** dog owners?)

Before I saw this website, I thought it was just a local problem – but now I am relieved to find it’s a national disease!!

Is there anything that can be done?

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Grimsby

OMG!!! I can’t believe Grimsby is not already on here! It pisses on all other towns when it comes to *****! (lol) I honestly think if someone did a survey on the population of Grimsby about 90% would be classed as townies (*****)! I’m 15 and many of my piers are classic *****, there not ashamed of it either! They adore their rockies, trakies and bling and just love to fit in. Most of them hang up ‘top town’ 24/7 which is Freshney Place, a shopping centre, not used for shopping very often with them. Anyway I think Grimsby is like the main scrubhole of the East (well maybe Hull aswell) but whatever it should certainly be incuded in the top ten!!!

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