Grimsby & Cleethorpes

Grimsby is the largest town in the relative calm that is Lincolnshire. If you should ever visit, come equipped with a Burberry baseball cap and socks tucked into your shellsuit bottoms otherwise you will stand out like a sore non-**** thumb!

I suppose everyone who’s added their town to this impressive iLiveHere list will think their inhabitants are by far the worst, but I both urge and challenge you to spend a day in Grimsby and neighbouring Cleethorpes. “What’s this?” I hear you cry, “Two towns nominated? Surely that’s not allowed”. Regrettably Cleethorpes goes with Grimsby as well as butter goes with bread.

By day the ***** play havoc within Grimsby town centre, either lurking in the shadow cast by McDonald’s doorway; swigging meths from the bottle at the old Brighowgate bus station; stripping chest-bare and jumping into the condom ******** river Freshney to ‘big up’ their possy; or undertake drugs and petty crime within the shopping precinct, Freshney Place. Many are only truly understood by their three-legged, half bald, limping canine companions called Leo.

How grim is your Postcode?

Malicious intent and behaviour come as something natural to Grimsby’s finest *****. Grimsby has more single-parent mothers than any other town in the UK, and the UK leads Europe, so statistically Grimsby has more loose, up-for-it, sexually moral-less women than any other settlement in the soon-to-be Super State that is Europa. Just the kind of women that ***** nationwide like to prey upon and knock about after a few pints; the women, who know nothing else, see this as acceptable behaviour.

This is where Cleethorpes rears its ugly head. By day it’s becoming an ever-growing seaside resort, where the Yorkie ***** come with their possessions in bin bags to reside at the “Fitties” holiday camp. Yorkie ***** do not mix with Grimsby/Cleethorpes ***** and the bloodshed is generally within the family so-to-speak until nighfall, when the pubs and clubs open, luring the Burberry cap-wearing local ***** “up Meggies” (the slang name for Cleethorpes) to share a 5 litre bottle of p*ss (sorry, I mean cheap cider) and go on the rampage at 1.45am attacking, slapping, spitting at whoever comes between them and their chance to show off in front of a CCTV camera.

Nowhere but Grimsby/Cleethorpes are there ***** that go out intent on injuring specific people – bus drivers, train conductors, door men – none are safe. I was once on a bus in Sheffield where the native ***** there took a random pop at the bus with a brick; no one was specifically targeted, just the bus, owned by some anti-gay Scottish millionaire. Not so in Grimsby! Ah yes, Grimsby, the home of the fastest running train conductors.

Top 50 worst places to live in England 2022 as voted for by you