Written by Anonymous. Posted in West Midlands

allo allo allo
my name’s jay and I live in tipton, but an often feared and avoided part that is yet not as notorious as the tibby. GREAT BRIDGE.
Chavs are in their abundance in this little subtown of tipton. All sorts of shapes sizes and genders round here i can assure you.
Now i look upon the chav lifestyle with a diffeent view to most. I am neither a greebo, nor a chav, not anythin really. I shop at H&M drink every night and of course dabble in as many intoxicating substances I can my hands on. I am well know by dealers and drug usuers alike yet by teh simple pisshead chavs im just a random bloke.
In great bridge there are several canal bridges which are allocated to chav gangs smoking bud, getting head and talkin about muggin sombody / beatin up some greebos. The most obvious sign you,re in the great bridge chav area is when you stop and listen and you hear a beat in the back ground and its getting very slowly closer. You turn around and there’s nothing there, so you carry on walking, then, as if like a scene from a movie about a disabled chav, around 20 chaves emerge around an old fat bloke on a mobility scooter with a rhasta blaster attached to it. It is simply hilarious watching a bunch of 14 year old chavs who could in their own right bang out the whole of mosely and harbourne put together, walking along around a disabled bloke in a mobilty scooter listening to 21 seconds by the so solid crew. You havent lived till youve been to great bridge.
There is also “bargain booze” what a flaw in teh plan that was. Callong it bargain booze – liqour in a language they understand. Its dispicable. This is normally only surrounded by about 4 chaves, all from a different group on a beer run trying to flag someone down to get them the cider. The general rule is to wait 15mins, and if nobodys come pull out stanley and kindly request for the shopkeeper to rethink his views on your age rather quickly.
The one thing that is noticeable though is teh quality fo chavettes in great bridge is much beter then in tipton or on the tibby, They are far more blonde and a lot fitter, ive even had a few myself, on that note ill be leaving
dont fight the chavs, nuke the bastards

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