Golcar (Sycamore (Chavamore) Avenue)

Golcar near Huddersfield is a beautiful little village built on the side of a hill which was once the home to hundreds of weaving families. For some reason many years ago some “*******” in the council decide to create a **** paradise and indeed a retched hive of **** and villainy – it’s name?? Sycamore Estate. Now, it has to be said that Sycamore Estate has some truly wonderful residents and genuinely nice people – I think there must be at least 3 families that meet this criteria. The rest it has to be said are the dregs of the earth and fall nicely into the category that this web site truly represents. Now if god had suffered a bad day and need to find somewhere to dump the ****, well it has to be said, his aim was spot on!

Sycamore is basically a half mile long road, with many rabbit warren type allies and lanes. Festooned along these lanes are places locally named as Cardboard City. Here you can usually find the lowest of the low, usually just as the sun is going down, and out with the rest of the Cockroaches. You have to appreciate that around here; even the 3 year olds are “ard as stone” Nitromose is their favourite play thing along with anything sharp. These juvenile Chavies have that unique ability to stand in the middle of the road and NOT get run over, it’s amazing to see how they do it and a shame, because lets face it a couple of nicely placed buses would help cure the future **** problems.

Sycamore has all the amenities a **** could want, there’s a (very poor) Chinese takeaway, an off-licence, next to a bookies and a charity shop. The ***** won’t be seen dead in the charity shop though as it doesn’t have any fake Burberry, Louis Vitton or Elisabeth Duke bling on the racks!! Further on the road is a (Fantastic) Indian takeaway, next to a Kebab and Pizza shop, and then yet another off- Licence. It has to be said that this row of shops provides the staple diet for most of the **** bags that frequent the area. However on Giro day and after the kids have been “aimed” in a school direction – Quick save is only 5 minutes away on the bus. At one end of the road is a home for “retards”. To protect them they built an 8 foot high wall round the outside and then painted it WHITE! This inspired the local ***** to get “Creative” and daub the walls with their names, well at least those who could spell them did. “Brittannee” is an example of a “BIG” word they got wrong.

It’s summer at the moment, and the male ***** still wear their long trousers, huddies and scarves over their acne ******** faces, oh to be cool! The girls on the other hand should take a leaf out of the boys and cover up. MMM you look nice – you’re 14 and a size 16 and ohhh you’re showing your midriff – nice….. Oh and look so is your 3 year old daughter!!! Is that her daddy trying to write his family tree on the retards wall???

Occasionally you get the odd 18 year old Corsa boy with his “choons” blasting out, but to be fair his car won’t exceed 35 mph anyway (Or be fast enough to run over some of the embryonic **** bags playing in the road) because it’s weighted down with all his dope smoking mates and some stolen speakers, if he drops below 5 mph then his best mates 3 year old son, will have them “taxed” alloys off in a flash.

Oh yes, if your looking for a **** paradise, well look no further “Chavamore” is the place to be. It’s a place where every window is smashable and every pet is a staffy, every wall can be written on and English is an optional language, grunts and Ali-G speak are all the rage. Where if you’re a girl a career aspiration is “getting a kid of me own so I can av a awse of me own” and if you’re a boy “shaggin that fat bird” is your only option for a successful relationship. If that’s what your looking for, then lucky you, we found it!

Be warned though – if there is more than 2 of them then they are an army of 20. With an attitude of invincibility – of course they all **** themselves if you stare back!

Top 10 worst places to live in England 2020