Gibraltar

Colonial British backwater that the British Government forgot about.

What a mess! I went there on holiday a couple of weeks ago, using it as a ‘vantage point’ to go and visit parts of Spain and Morocco, and my God, I certainly didn’t spend much time in Gibraltar. This is rudeboy hell!

Expect to find them in Pizza Hut in their full ****-boy attire, or up on the rock, purposely stopping their souped up ****-mobiles, winding down the windows and cranking up their sub-woofers, to let the Barbary Apes ‘av it!! *****! What have those macacs ever done to them?

How grim is your Postcode?

Take the Main Street for example. If you didn’t know where you were, you could be forgiven for thinking that you were in Penzance town centre! You get Dorothy Perkins, Marks & Spencer and loads and loads of very very tacky gift shops, selling loud T-shirts with pictures of the Union Flag gon, saying ‘Keep Gibraltar British!’

Best siting of ****-**** is around 4pm, where you can see them heading towards the Spanish boarder on their 50cc mopeds complete with token schoolgirl riding pillion. Very sad!

In the pubs, expect lots of exotic dishes, such as fish n chips, steak n kidney pie and chips, curry…..and chips! Yuck!

Conversely, the town just on the other side of the border (La Línea de la Concepción) is lovely! Nice clean streets, no litter, bars that serve nice food. I even slept there while on holiday while my friends stayed over the border in Gibraltar! BUT, believe it or not, tracksuits now seem to be all the rage in Spain as well, with loads of girls walking around in various different coloured tracksuits and wearing bling!! Is there NO HOPE?? When visiting the ancient Andalucian city of Ronda, I even saw a Spanish girl adorned in a Burberry cap! It’s official, ***** are not only restricted to the UK, and chavism is spreading….like a cancer!

Earlier on this year, Gibraltar celebrated 300 years of British rule! The British certainly did a good job of messing the place up! More like 300 years of British Botch-up! I say, hand Gibraltar back to the Spanish. Spain may be a poorer country than the UK, but at least they know how to make their towns look nice!!

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Gibraltar

The British captured Gibraltar 300 years ago. Sadly the village idiot was ****** in the action and so the post was advertised. Idiots from around the Med and Britain applied by the hundreds and due to an administrative error, all were accepted. The results can be seen in the population today.

Gibraltar is a basically a 1970s shopping precinct dumped in the Med. it has all the essentials for **** living: shops selling sports gear, bling bling outlets, Pizza Hut, Burger King and pubs selling cheap lager.

It attracts lots of British visitors of the type that find Benidorm a little too exotic and these can be seen trailing around the shopping precinct in full **** wear glory, looking exactly as they do in the UK apart from the addition of a rather fetching lobster red hue that sets off a belly peircing in an over extended gut nicely.

How grim is your Postcode?

As there is absolutely nothing to do in Gibraltar apart from ******* around the shops and drinking lager, it is of course **** heaven.

Gibraltar – Basingstoke sur le Med.