Written by Anonymous Visitor and posted in East Anglia

Fulbourn is a picturesque village close to Cambridge, located in East Anglia. It is filled with a wide range of people that all make their own small contributions towards the community. Recently, however, a new breed of people has come to inhabit and to claim this wonderful village. These people, of course, being Chavs.
A strange people that have some kind of fetish over Burberry and an incredible urge for branded sports wear.The bigger the brand name on the garment, the better, according to the new religion. Look out for what was this summers classic, the pink Nickelson polo shirt and this winters classic, the sky blue McKenzie hoody. Fulbourn is slowly changing from the picturesque village of serenity to a blended sea of tartan, sky blue and Nike logos.
One of the Chavs refuges includes the recreation ground. Or so referred to, by the excrement of society. “The Rec.” What was once a place of happiness and children playing has become a breeding ground to the dominating vermin of the future. At night (once the younger Chavs have left due to a curfew or to breast feed the baby.), however, like mindless zombies the older Chavs begin to leave their ditches or holes and begin to migrate towards “The Rec” and begin to swap drugs and scavenge for small change that could have been possibly left behind by the younger Chavs, this money is also referred to as “fag cash.”
Another favourite “hang out” for the scum of the earth, inhabiting Fulbourn, is the steps beside the chemist. No explorer has been able to decide why this may be, but it is thought by professionals that they use this place as a territorial marking of their power. The same way as dogs mark their territory, but do not have the same grace as a dog. Others believe that it could simply be because it is opposite the kebab shop and that the current generation do not have money to pay for the food, but sit eagerly awaiting an old person or disabled person, ready to strike for the precious grease.
Fulbourn has done a lot to try to help to accommodate the growing number of faeces in the area. These changes include, the construction of the block house. (Cardboard boxes enforced with plaster.)
As well as re-furbishing the kebab shop so that it no has a shiny desk and even greaser food.
Fulbourn, like all other villages towns or cities over the world, desperately needs your help. That is why I ask you now. Please, pollute more often. Raise the temperature of the earth by thirty two degrees and hopefully we will be able to drown the vermin. Some people say that this technique may come with some disadvantages, but I believe that it would be worth it to finally remove these scum from the face of the earth. We may make it out alive.