Felixstowe

East AngliaSuffolk

As mentioned in the Ipswich description, Felixstowe is well and truly a C**v Town candidate.
I live there. Opposite a phone box. With hilarious regularity the phone box windows are smashed in and the phone ripped from its usual resting place. Cars arent safe on the side of the road – cos guess what late night c**v walking means wing mirrors get booted off “just for laughs”
But this isnt c**v heaven oh no no.
Number 1 would be “The Triangle”. This is a piss reeking glorified flower bed in the middle of town (attached to toilets) where during the day the 16 year old mums with 8 kids beat little Courtney Marie in full view of Tescos and by night is a hang out for smoking spitting and drinking. Whilst wearing burberry/kappa/gold chains/white tracksuits and such like. Activity from here moves on to a few other places, all equally vile. Main one being “The Front”. Yes we have a pier!! Have not witnessed the goings on there for a number of years but I am sure its the same old teenage drinking/swearing/spitting.
For the older of us we have the “Banbox” This is C**v central. Unfortunately its the only place worth going too. An irony as it sucks, badly too. You only have to look at a baseball cap the wrong way to get a black eye here.
Amongst all the above we have a variety of chippies, kebab shops, cafes (no no really) and off licences which do their best to uphold the fabulous c**v image we have. The number of half eaten kebabs, empty cider bottles and paper on the streets tells you its true.
As do the “gary boys” as we call them here. There are some hysterically funny modified fiestas/106’s/escorts doing the rounds. They cruise all the way along the seafront, up the hill by the Cork (one of the nicer places to go, not entirely free from C**v tho, but still an entertaining way to drink a pint, sitting on the balcony c**v spotting – which we do do, beware) and then thru town and back down again. With the most insanely loud stereos you have ever heard, blaring out the most insanely s***e music you have ever heard. What a f*****g waste of time.

Due to its location, Felixstowe is known as the a******e of England, I can confirm that it really is.


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