Written by Anonymous. Posted in East Anglia, Suffolk, United Kingdom

Ahhh, Felixstowe. full of chavs. sworming around the town in gangs pla nning how to get the Ipswich Chavs, and planning on which bank to attempt to ram raid. the types of people who act black, sound black (with accent) and dress in their pajamas. They buy cheap ass clothes from the great “Felixstowe Market” for a simple £2.00 for a jacket. they think there all that and blingin when they have their friends with them but see them in the street and they run a f*****g mile. they say phases like:
“Aww m8 I’m gonna have your mum”
“I had her last night”
“Innit”
“Wicked”
“P.H.A.T.”
“Shut Up”
“Minger”
“Munter”
“Heffer”
“Bling Bling”
and the classic “Batty Boy”

obviously they say these phrases with put on black/essex accents.
They think that bling is when they win shitty 5p Jewerly from one of the many arcdes in Felixstowe. and they go around sreading that they won this peice of crap. really they must all be imbread. the way they act and think, and talk. and dress. f*****g hell their imbassiles.

Top 10 Hangout Spots For A Chav In Felixstowe:

1.The “Triangle”-this is just a shitty little triangle that marks the center of town with a toilet right in the middle of it, and shops either side of it, and flowers around it.

2.The Sea Front- They love to sit on the little wall opposite the Arcades on a sunday watching all their destinies as a prick in a s**t little car that they will soon feel proud of. they will gary up a grappy car such as a Volks Wagen Polo and put body kits on it, spoilers, Lexus Lights, Louds Speakers and Exensive Amps, All just so it looks good for when they finally crash it.

3.In the Arcades- Any time of the week they will find some money on the streets or steal it from their teenaged mum and shove it all into the slot machines. hopeing to start a little life savings with the winnngs. but when they dont win they like to bust up the arcades to try and steal it. (not like they dont do that anyway, Or Was it Patrick The Homeless Guy?? He Was Most Likely Once A Chav.)

4.Sunday Market-Ahh the Sunday Market, this is where they all work to support their single teenage mums. they must get a measly 20 quid for working 10 straigh hours. not bad i spose. but will it last the whole week?? once their older they will have bough a stall from Charlie Mannings and started to actually earn some money. or if their girls will get pregnant and get a free counsil house.

5.The Peir- This is where some 12-14 year old kids try to get drunk on some watered down whisky their dads have given to them, but when they think their drunk they start on the other geeky chavs and all hell brakes lose, so then the Police do thir daily routine and go down their to arrest a few people.

6. Police Station- Not by choice this is where most chavs are forced to go. because of a little rivalry between 2 schools (Deben A.K.A. Debenders and Orwell A.K.A. Orwelldicks) they like to go round and beat each other up. altho most chavs have been expelled from Deben and then dumped into Orwell

7. SafeWay/Morrisons- Some Older Chavs 15-17 Years Old like to come to this lonely shop to get pissed and buy alkahol with their shitty 2 quid fake I.D’s. they go on to the field and then into the most stupidest place, the little wood part where everyone can see night or day. so when police see them and put on their sirons the chavs try and run but fail from falling over too much and from being but naked for planning to streak.

8.Coronation Drive- you would have thought this is a good place to live. but no, its full of drugies, Chavs, Teenage Mums and Immigrants. the place where they Chavs Rest Their Greasy Little Heads. The Only Time Felixstowe Gets Some Rest Of The Chavs is when they sleep for 2 hours. Ha HA Corination Drive Home Of Corination Park. a deserted park for chavs back in the 90’s when it all got refurbished and all their names were taked away from the swings and slides. that must have hurt alot. they now try and play rugby on sundays but a as weak as a fly fighting a spider for the last peanut. seariously a big joke.

9.Band Box-When they find their I.D. in their shitty £2.00 pajamas from the market they finally anttempt to get into a place called the ban box. (This Is Only Popular Cus A Girl Called Vicy Hall Was Last Seen There Before Being Murdered. Very Tragic). most of the time the bouncers let these scum bag chavs in for a laugh but other times they let the little 12 year old chavs pick a fight with one of the bouncers who is built like a brick s**t house.

10.Level2- A shitty little youth center built just for these bargain hunting scum bags. their motto it first drink free buy the rest. it contains free use of computer, pool tables, dart board, food and playstation (thats right not Playstation 1 or 2 just Playtation.) Not The Best Place To B When Your An Upper Class Person Looking For A Toilet.

So There You Are My Veiws OF Chavs And their Crappy Little Hangouts. oh and one more thing. Chav Stands For Council Housed Adult Vermin-CHAV.

Thnx Your Friend
Dowdy.


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