Living in Faversham, Kent
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Faversham kent, a seemingly quiet country town? Don’t be fooled, it does however, possess a community website frequented by gangs of old age morons who take offence at the slightest disagreement with their cliquey rules. They are a pack of wolves feasting apon a piece of carrion, many are descended from hordes of pikeys that have settled the area, about half I would say. Many of the rest are just inbreds from local villages. Several notorious housing estates dot the area like chavvy no go zones, where the usual entertainment is shagging in the surrounding fields, keeping ferrets and attending the local barn dances, the stingaree being their favourite tune played on the fiddle.

Trips down to the local creek for weekly washes are a highlight for most of the populace since it’s cheaper than using fresh water to wash. There is a yearly carnival where the thousands of ‘cousins’ meet up to discuss their paternity, just in case they are shagging their sisters. Mush and chavvy are the most common words used in the local romany dialect. There’s no real shops to talk of, but they keep up the pretention of being posh and insist on living in the past by turning down planning and opposing anything modern, which is why it’s a dying outpost of feudalism.

When one gets to meet someone with a view to romance, one must open an account with findmypast just to make sure they are not related. It proudly boasts of being a member of the cinque ports, but jank port would be more appropriate because it sits on a silted up dying creek which is now virtually useless and could be run better by the african banana republic. There are areas where it’s not safe to walk at night, especially wooded and bushy areas where men claim to be looking for missing dogs at 3am, I suppose they mean dogging?

All in all a backwater of violent chavs and 000s of dubious cousins, who get really excited if a fair appears and a trip outside faversham is a prestigious affair, especially if going shopping in canterbury and is accompanied by a fanfare of preparation on Facebook, among chavvy friends young and old alike. Avoid this dump like the plague. There’s absolutely nothing of interest here, but to come and stare at the inhabitants and their scumshit town. Investing money here would suicide on a grand scale.

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