Faversham kent, a seemingly quiet country town? Don’t be fooled, it does however, possess a community website frequented by gangs of old age moaners who take offence at the slightest disagreement with their cliquey rules. They are a pack of wolves feasting upon a piece of carrion.
Several notorious housing estates dot the area like signposted no go zones, where the usual entertainment is copulating in the surrounding fields, keeping ferrets and attending the local barn dances, the stingaree being their favourite tune played on the fiddle.
Trips down to the local creek for weekly washes are a highlight for most of the populace since it’s cheaper than using fresh water to wash. There is a yearly carnival where the thousands of ‘cousins’ meet up to discuss their paternity, just in case they are with is one of their sisters. Mush is one of the most common words used in the local dialect. There’s no real shops to talk of, but they keep up the pretention of being posh and insist on living in the past by turning down planning and opposing anything modern, which is why it’s a dying outpost of feudalism.
When one gets to meet someone with a view to romance, one must open an account with findmypast just to make sure they are not related. It proudly boasts of being a member of the cinque ports, but jank port would be more appropriate because it sits on a silted up dying creek which is now virtually useless. There are areas where it’s not safe to walk at night, especially wooded and bushy areas where men claim to be looking for missing dogs at 3am, I suppose they mean dogging?
All in all a backwater of violent yokels and 000s of dubious cousins, who get really excited if a fair appears and a trip outside faversham is a prestigious affair, especially if going shopping in Canterbury and is accompanied by a fanfare of preparation on Facebook, among friends young and old alike. Avoid this dump like the plague. There’s absolutely nothing of interest here, but to come and stare at the inhabitants and their awful town. Investing money here would suicide on a grand scale.
I’ve always lived in Faversham and I can say it is a sh*t hole
Whitstable: get drunk, smell of fish and nearly get into 5 fights
Sittingbourne – a bleak wasteland between the M2 & the Isle of Sheppey
Whitstable aka Sh*tstable
Sittingbourne, oh the joy
Chatham, Kent, aka Chavham
Chatham: the dog sh*t splattered patio of the Garden of England
Maidstone – The biggest moving mistake of my life
Dover – ******** of England